What if... Video game characters had interns
Day five: Politics 101 with Rico Rodriguez
"Why have you brought this folder with you? No folders!" said Rico, grabbin♏g the documents out of my hands and throwing them out of the helicopter.
"I... oh𒉰. I thought we might have to write some𒉰thing down."
"No writing either!"
"Okay."💙 I went to write that🍃 down, but then didn't.
"So you're currently in the process of destabilising this island, Rico?" I asked.
"That's right! I ꦆam destabilising it on behalf of the CIA for reasons that I can barely remember or understand."
"And you're doing that how? Funding🐎ꩵ underground freedom fighter cells? Supplying guns to antagonistic external factions? Blockades? Trade sanctions? Misinformation?"
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"EXPLOSIONS," said R💞ico, failing to hide an obvious🥀 and sudden erection. "ONLY EXPLOSIONS."
"Explosion♓s," I s🔯aid, trying not to look. "Just.. anywhere?"
"Fuck y꧒eah,"🍃 he said, grinning widely. "All explosions. All the time. Nothing is more unstable than an explosion."
"✃Oh, so it's philosophic💟al, then? Like a Zen koan?"
"If that helps you, kid, sure. Now fire this rock🍷et launcher into that built-up area ꦺbeneath us for MAD POINTS."