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Video games as breakfast cereals we'd totally eat

Features
By 澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:Justin Towell published 2 October 2013

Crunchy, fibre-rich gaming goodness

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Video games. The cereal killer

Video games. The cereal killer

Breakfast may well be the 'most important meal of the day', but it's also a sad reminder that you're about to leave the house, go to school or work and probably not play video games for the next six hours. Unless you commute, in which case you've probabl🌳y got a handheld. But the point still stands. Breakfast can't really be gamified.

Except it can, clearly. Like a surreal Noel Gallagher, we've added a sprinkling of video games to our cornflakes, because it makes them that much moršŸ”œe palatable. You can't buy these in shops, but you can always pretend your favourite brand is one of these instead. Spoon ready? Great. Dig in...

Page 1 of 9
Page 1 of 9
Bran Theft Auto Five Grain

Bran Theft Auto Five Grain

It's full of bran and it's got five grain goodness. Criminally tasty, according to the advertising sl✱ogan.

Page 2 of 9
Page 2 of 9
Wheatleybix

Wheatleybix

"Be better qualified for testing" says the advertising slogan. Wheatleybix speeds up every aspect of your mind, speech and digestive system, leaving you ready for anything. Or so it says on theā™’ box. Also, you get to send off for a 'Personality Hemisphere', known as a bowl to you and me.

Page 3 of 9
Page 3 of 9
Cap'n Price's Crunch

Cap'n Price's Crunch

Now you can get crunchified with Captain Price from the Call of Duty series♓. Every bowl is choc-full (literally) of milk chocolate moustaches. They're a bit rich for children, being solid milk chocolate, so the cereal is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. But children's parents buy them anyway because "what could possibly be wrong with a cereal, right?" Ooh, the satire! It burns! It burns!

Page 4 of 9
Page 4 of 9
Alpen Pen TriIceLon

Alpen Pen TriIceLon

No, this isn't just an obscure game that we saw in a list on Wikipedia. We actually own a copy of Pen Pen: TriIceLon (it's a play on 'triathlon') on Dreamcast. Pen Pen trivia? Iš“ƒ²t was one of the four Japanese Dreamcast launch games. So now yoꦛu know. Rumours about this (entirely fictional) cereal containing actual penguin are completely unfounded.

Page 5 of 9
Page 5 of 9
Bangai-Os

Bangai-Os

One for Avril Lavigne to sing about. "I'm not the milk and Bangai-Os in your spoon... because that'są¼ŗ freakin' weird, yą²žou weirdo."

Page 6 of 9
Page 6 of 9
PS Vita breakfast biscuits

PS Vita breakfast biscuits

Guaranteed battery life of four hours means you'll be gaming from šŸ„‚breakfast right up until lunchtime. At whšŸ°ich point you'll have to recharge it again. Well, at least everyone who tries it likes it, even if it isn't a bestseller just yet.

Page 7 of 9
Page 7 of 9
Special Kane & Lynch

Special Kane & Lynch

Kane and Lynch recommend a balanced diet to complement your active lifestyꦉle. They also get in a lot of trouble, primarily for advertising their breakfast cereal wearing red, one-piece swimsuits. *Shudder*.

Page 8 of 9
Page 8 of 9
Can you think of any more good ones?

Can you think of any more good ones?

Perhaps you looked through this feature and thought 'By thunder, they've left out X'. And you're absolutely right. We did. Unless you didn't look closely enough and it's one of the cereals we did do, in which case all we can really say is RTFA. But, assuming you didn't commit such a heinous crime, do share your🦩 ideas in the comments. Go on, be as funny as you can.

And if you're looking for more, check out 澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:If video games were candy bars and ಌ澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:T🐭he 12 most famous fake brands in video games.

Page 9 of 9
Page 9 of 9
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Wii-u 澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:PlayStation Xbox 澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:Platforms Nintendo
Justin Towell
澳擲幸运5å¼€å„–å·ē åŽ†å²ęŸ„čÆ¢:Justin Towell
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Justin was a GamesRadar staffer for 10 years but is now a freelancer, musician and videographer. He's big on retro, ✱Sega and racing games (especially retro Sega racing games) and currently also writes for Play Magazine, Traxion.gg, PC Gamer and TopTenReviews, as well as running his own YouTube channel. Having learned to love all platforms equally after Sega left the hardware industry (sniff), his favourite games include Christmas NiGHTS into Dreams, Z🌌elda BotW, Sea of Thieves, Sega Rally Championship and Treasure Island Dizzy.

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