Hammer-Time

Gather round everyone…it’s gravelly voiceover time! “Whoever wields this hammer,” begins Anthony Hopkins, “if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

That’s no ordinary hammer, you see. It’s none other than Mjolnir, the mythical norse war-hammer. Why’s it just sitting there? Well, no ordinary being can lift it unless they’re deemed worthy by Odin himself. That’s Anthony Hopkins, by the way…

Thor Fact: The hammer’s name translates from the No✤rse as “the crusher”. Pretty cool, no?

Enter Thor

This fellow may just be up the job! That’s right, it’s Thor himself, newly exiled from his home world of Asgard (are you keeping up?) as a result of an arrogant streak a mile wide.

At this point we can see him knocking seven bells out of assorted S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives. How he ended up in their custody is anyone’s guess, but from the looks of things, he won’t be hanging around for very long…

Thor Fact: Thor’s mythical status was the natural progression for Stan Lee after creating the Hulk. “How do you make someone stronger than the strongest person?” muses L🐟ee. “It finally came to me: don't make him human — make him a god!”

Heaaave!

It’s Chris Hemsworth’s first opportunity to put that newly-buffed physique into practice as he steels himself to lift the mighty hammer. Come on son, put your back into it!

Has he managed it? We’re not certain, as the trailer goes hurtling off in a different direction a split-second later. One thing’s for sure though: it’s absolutely pissing it down.

Thor Fact: Surely Thor should be able to toss the hammer up on to his shoulder without breaking sweat? Well not necessarily, as Odin s🐠tripped him of his po꧙wers upon banishing him from Asgard…

Suiting Up

It’s a real melee of action shots this trailer, none of which appear to be coming in any particular order. Here we see Hemsworth in his full Thor regalia for the first time, although this is presumably a scene from before his banishment.

He’s certainly throwing his weight around in any case, using Mjolnir to lay the surrounding terrain to waste. Is this Thor’s excursion to the frozen lands of the North, the reckless assault on the Frost Giants that has kicked-off an ancient war? Er, yeah, probably…

Thor Fact: The Frost Giants are the oldest foes of Asgard, a race of chilly warriors who diminish in size th♛e warmer they getꦫ. Quick, crank up the thermostat!

Feeble Earthlings...

Here’s the lovely Natalie Portman playing scientist Jane Foster, accompanied by Stellan Skarsgård as Professor Andrews. Foster is first on the scene when Thor crashes down from the heavens, and the two form quite the bond as things get messy down on Earth.

Speaking of which, everyone looks quite concerned here don’t they? What’s got them all looking so gloomy we wonder…

Thor Fact: In the c💮omics, Foster is a nurse, but in the film she’s received something of a promotion.ജ They’ve made her an astrophysicist!

When Worlds Collide

Ah, so that’s what they were so worried about. There’s a massive cyclone ploughing its way across Earth. However, that’s no ordinary weather-based nasty. It’s a sign that Loki’s boys are on their way down from Asgard…

Loki is Thor’s adoptive brother you see, and the two of them aren’t exactly best chums. So with Thor stuck down on earth and stripped of his great strength, there’s never been a better opportunity for Loki to get shot of him for good…

Thor Fact: Loki is the biological♛ son of a Frost God, and was brought up by Odin when𝄹 the Asgardian slew his father. Not exactly happy families, is it?

Home Sweet Home

Now it’s off to Futuroscope, sorry, Asgard, for a look at the sort of background Thor’s had to leave behind. It all looks a bit hippy-trippy to us, but each to their own …

If Thor wants to make his way back here, he’ll have to prove he’s learned what it takes to become a real hero. And what better way than by protecting some hapless Earthlings from the murderous whims of your adopted brother?

Thor Fact: The Asgardian dimension is made up of nine separate realms, playing host to a veritable throng of mythical creatures, from demons to dwarves, as well as the odd gian♕t along the way.

The Destroyer

Who’s this handsome fellow then? Well, unless we’re very much mistaken, this will be The Destroyer, an armour-clad weapon forged by Odin and used by Loki to try and take out his errant brother.

Not only is The Destroyer handy with its fists, it can also fire off energy blasts, manipulate matter and fly. After you then Thor…

Thor Fact: Rather than being a sentient creature, Theꦐ Destroyer is actually an enchanted suit of armour. Not that that makes𓃲 it any less terrifying…

I Am Spartacus! I Mean Thor...

Time for a bit of showboating from Thor as he raises Mjolnir in triumph amid Odin’s throne-room. Unless Marvel have completely blown their load and shown us the film’s triumphant denouement, we’d wager this scene probably comes somewhere towards the beginning of the film.

Perhaps this is Thor giving it the large one after attacking the Frost Giants? If so, he’s going to pay for this little bout of hubris…

Thor Fact: As well as handing out lessons on morality, the comic-book🌱 Odin can al♑so lay claim to creating humanity. His reasoning? He “thought the Earth was lonely”. Fond of a one-liner, isn’t he?

Chemistry Lesson

Finally, a bit of dialogue in an otherwise action-heavy teaser. It might only be a nugget of mildly comic chit-chat, but still, it’s something. “Who are you?” asks Jane, reas🌟onably. “You’ll see soon enough,” smirks Thor. “God I hope you’re n🍷ot crazy” she responds.

Oh-ho! Do we detect some sexual chemistry? Or is this genuine concern on the part of a lone female trapped in a car with a 🦩giggling lunatic? Only time will tell…

Thor Fact: Natalie Portman signed on for the role on account of the sheer oddness of the production. “I was just like, 'Kenneth Branagh doing Thor is super🗹-weird,’ she say🌼s. “I had to do it.”

Creature Feature

“Raaaaaargh” screams this rather toothy customer. Again, this conflict doesn’t appear to be being played out on Earth, so we can only assume that this is another extract from Thor’s trip to one of the more shadowy realms of his home dimension.

Whenever it happens, this mouthy so-and-so is asking for a hammer in the chops if you ask us…

Thor Fact: I t’s hard to tell from the trailer, but we’re putting the above beastie down as a troll.ಌ They’re around seven feet tall on average, which looks about right to us.

Kapow!

Woof! That’s what happens when you muck about with Thor! You end up with your teeth down your throat. Another balls-out action sequence in a film that looks to be stuffed to the gills with them.

We’d have liked to have seen a bit more of the supporting cast here (Odin, Loki and Heimdall are nowhere to be seen) but given that this was aimed at the Superbowl crowd, perhaps it’s understandable that mayhem is at the top of the agenda…

Thor Fact: In the comics, Thor’s name is usually prece𓄧ded by the moniker, “The Mighty”. Presumably Branagh was trying to 🦂keep the camp to a minimum…