1. Obsessed forum guys

Usually plays: Nothing
Favorite snacks: Cheetoos, Doritos, Fritos

An eternally to𝓀ggled caps lock isn't an accident - it's a state of mind. It's absolute contempt for decent conversation, and often even the topic of conversation. Not only does the obsessive forum✱ite not like games, he doesn't play them. If he did, he wouldn't have time to rant about how shitty they are in asinine forum threads.

This stereotypical internet outcast rarely makes himself visible to the actual world, so we can only guess at his physical qualities. The lack of sunlight and any foodstuffs not🌊 wrapped in plastic has likely atrophied his muscles and turned the hue of his complexion to a putrid yellow. Dead skin from the bridge of his nose has become encrusted on the pads of his LensCrafter glasses, creating a thick sludge that occasionally drops bits of filth into his already crumb-infested keyboard. If it weren't for his mom insisting that he let her do his laundry, he'd never remove his favorite Akira t-shirt, which features streams of rotting Red Bull running through valleys of caked-on Cheetoo dust.