Scent Of A Woman (1992)

Al Pacꦆino’s gruff and showy turn reaches its gear-grinding crescendo with a shameless piece of Hollywood stage management, the film barely grasping to any sense of reality as Al explodes a blinking tirade of foul-mouthed justice all over the asse☂mbled rich prepsters.

Troy (2004)

There’s more than a splinter of sense in hiring Brad Pitt to play Achilles – the nearest thing Hollywood has to an old-fashi🦹oned matinee throb playing swords and sandals like in the old days.

But when Achilles’ big talkie bit arrives, the usually dependable Brad fluffs his lin💝es so hard he makes his 🌜bloodthirsty cry sound like the pay-off line in a shampoo ad.

The Goonies (1985)

There’s no arguing that The Goonies is a brilliant, breathless ride abou🌜t youth and having 💎adventures, but this has always struck a bum note.

It’s overpackaged – the lowest ebb, the wheezing asthmatic, the intruding sound💛track. It feels like a formulaic Spꦡielberg Adventure building-block, and one of the film’s few low points.

Armageddon (1998)

Michael Bay lays it on thick like a big winter coat of stupid in his meteor-meets-the-earth spectacular, as the Ame✱rican president speaks voluminously over An Impoꦓrtant Montage to explain to us why the things we are about to see are Very Important And Thrilling. Utterly hollow.

Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

Another entry that mak🥀es it not because it sucks, but because it does sadness so smartly. Here Alec Baldwin’s uptown hotshot reads the riot act to Glengarry’s trio of failing salesmen, presenting a razor-edged and utterly depressing insight into the emptiness of ruthless capitalism.

Henry V (1989)

This is the most famous speech of perhaps Shakespe🐟are’s most famous play, as performed by the most popular classi🌱cal actor in the world.

And he fluffs it – Branagh’s chubby-faced gurning is the opposite of kingly, and what’s with💝 us having to /think/ to understand what’s going on? We’re an angry mob, rouse us in bullet points!

Gigli (2003)

Far from the temperature-raising teaser that was presumably intend𝓰ed, J-Lo’s grotesquely graphic explanation of why girl bits are better than boy bits (Toes? Slugs? Sweet heavenly bollocks) is actually more likely to uninspire anyone who watches it to ever have sex again, ever.

A Beautiful Mind (2001)

True or not, any right-🌱thinking viewer will reject these climactic scenes of unabashed sentimentality like a human body would reject a transplanted dog’s liver.

It’s a peeling gloss fini🐼sh on a fractured failure of a movie – Genius! Delusion! Dramalovetheend! – that uses to replace proper 🧸storytelling. Boo!

Taxi Driver (1976)

Pre-blo🎶odletti🔯ng crescendo, this scene catches Robert De Niro’s frantic and confused Travis as knows he’s falling apart, and reaches out to experienced fellow-cabbie Wizard for help.

In a dark, da💮rk comic moment, the adv✤ice he receives is a cloud of jumbled, directionless nothings that bring Travis no inspiration at all.

The Boondock Saints (1999)

The daft final sequence of Troy Duffy’s inexplicably cultish crime clunker, with the MacManus clan storming a courtroom and yarr-ing a pre-rehearsed speech about corruption in brash Oirish accents whil𝓀e the camera cuts about them fast enough to make the whole thing look like a St Patrick’s Day beer advert.