The Reduced SFX Company presents the second series of Angel in handy bite-sized format
OVERALL SYNOPSIS OF SHOW
Once upon a time a vampire🃏 named Angelus got himself a soul, fell in love with a Vampire Slayer, realised their relationship was doomed and left town. Now Angel lives in Los Angeles (the City of Angels, geddit?) and runs a Private Investigation firm with friends Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. He also broods quite a bit and uses too much poncy hair gel.
ACT ONE
The SEASON ONE FINALE revealed that ANGEL will one day become HUMAN . Because of this AMAZING NEWS 🍬 , ANGEL is now feeling a bit better abo𓆉ut himself. But not much.
ANGEL : I feel like brooding today, but I might also smile a✅ littl⭕e and look fondly at my friends from time to time.
CORDELIA CHASE : Let’s hit a k✱ar♛aoke bar and get you singing!
ANGEL : [Sinks into a pit of despair]
The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team need a new base because their last one BLEW THE F**K UP . They find an old HOTEL which ANGEL used to know in the ’50s. Cue: FLASHBACK EPISODE .
JOSS WHEDON : Vampires were mysterious and secretive and therefore people used to think they were commies. See, my shows can explore real-lif🦄e issues such as prejudice and paranoia even though they’re ostensibly about the supernatural!
ANGEL : Whatever. I just wish I didn’t have to we🥃ar so much Grecian 2000 in this damn flas𓂃hback.
The FLASHBACK EPISODE ends and the team move into the vast, empty HOTEL .
CORDELIA : At least it’s got a nice colour scheme and som🌠e Art Deco touches going on. Beats a Travelodge any 🦩day.
ANGEL : I ༺k𓂃new you’d love it. Now please excuse me, I have some brooding to do.
CORDELIA : I’m shocked and surprised.
ACT TWO
ANGEL is being visited in his dreams by DARLA , the vampire who sired him. This makes her his MOTHER . The fact that these dreams are RUDE makes this ICKY .
DARLA : Hello, darling. Gimme a kiss.
ANGEL : Why am I so obsessed with you? I killed you ages ago and didn’t even give a damn! ...Of course, that might have been because nobody had given me an angs✃ty backstory back then and I had no idea you were that important to me.
DARLA : Shut up and snog me.
ANGEL ꦅ: You&rsqu൲o;re a saucy little mother, aren’t you?
When ANGEL wakes up, he BROODS .
CORDELIA : I’m getting so bored of 𝓰this. You are the world’s most emo vampire, do you know that?
EDWARD CULLEN : Oh, just you wait.
ACT THREE
The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team solve cases and save lives while tangling with an EVIL LAW FIRM named WOLFRAM & HART . These are the guys who have brought DARLA back from the dead and are ensuring she gives ANGEL naughty dreams. The two main players at WOLFRAM & HART are LINDSEY MCDONALD and LILAH MORGAN.
LINDSEY : I’m evil but I’m also conflicted.
LILAH : I’m evil but I’m also conflicted.
LINDSEY : We should get together.
LILAH : Naw. I’ve got my eye on that Wesley guy.
LINDSEY : Yeah, and I think Darla’s a hottie.
LILAH : It’s a pity, though. We&rsquo🍸;d make a good couple.
LINDSEY : Wanna play with my fake hand for a while?
WOLFRAM & HART are dastardly and corrupt. This is a theme that continues throu𒐪ghout the entire series.
JOSS WHEDON : Lawyers are more evil than any supernatural cre💧ature ever. See how I like to reflect real life in my shows?
ANGEL : Er, I’m sleeping with my mother. Please don&rs🌜quo;t 🧸say that.
ACT FOUR
ANGEL eventually goes a bit MAD because of the whole DARLA THING . He fires his team and BROODS even more than usual.
CORDELIA : Let’s set up our own firm! At least then we won’t 💞have to deal with Broody McBroodyson.
WESLEY : I don’t think we’ll do very well without having a vampire to protect us. [Getsಞ shot by a zombie cop.] I rest my case. Also, ow.
Meanwhile, ANGEL has BROODED HIMSELF INTO A CORNER . He ends up SLEEPING WITH DARLA in real life. This leads to him having an EPIPHANY . [And no, that’s not a euphemism for any🌞thing rude.]
ANGEL : I&rs🐟quo;ve realised the error of my ways! I’ve sunk so low the only way is up! I must reunite with my team and tell t💛hem how sorry I am for being such an ass!
CORDELIA : Oh, it’s you. Why are you apologising all๊ of a sudden?
ANGEL : I had an epiphany.
CORDELIA : Ew, gross.💯 And wasn’t it with your mother? ๊Ew, grosser!
ANGEL : It’s not a euphemism.
WESLEY : It bloody well is.
GUNN : Damn straight.
CORDELIA : That’s so icky.
ANGEL : Chill o𒈔ut! It&rsqu💞o;s not like I got her pregnant or anything!
CONNOR : Oh, just you wait.
ACT FIVE
DARLA teams up with CRAZY DIPPY VAMPIRE DRUSILLA . They go on a RAMPAGE , kill lots of WOLFRAM & HART lawyers and, er, GO SHOPPING . ANGEL sends them packing.
ANGEL : Right, that&rsq🎶uo;s the vampire threat out of the way! Now to deal wi🐬th those lawyers...
LINDSEY : I cut my hair and lost my evil mojo. I need to go off, grow it again and come 🔜back eviller. Bye!
ANGEL : Wait, we’re only two-thirds of the way through our season and all ouℱr main antagonists have left! What now?
LORNE : Hဣello, I’m green and sing karaoke and come from an alternate dimension. Fancy e💛xploring it with me?
ANGEL : WICKED!
ACT SIX
The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team get up to all sorts of nonsense on the world of PYLEA where HUMANS are slaves and VAMPIRES can wander around in daylight.
ANGEL : Wow, now𓄧 I can see myself properly in a mirror I’ve realised how much hair gel I use! No wonder Spike made fu🐎n of me! Also, I wear way too much black for my complexion.
LORNE : Tꦚry having green s൲kin, honey. Now that’s difficult.
They find a SLIGHTLY INSANE WOMAN named FRED living in a cave.
WESLEY : You’re kind of adorable. [Covets her]
GUNN : Isn’t she just? [Covets her]
FRED : Can I go home now? 🌼Wibble! [Is oblivious to male attention]
ANGEL : Hmm, I wonder if this could b꧙e a ෴love triangle in a future season...
CORDELIA : Look, I snagged𝕴 myself a burly warrior named Groo!
ANGEL : Good for you! And, unlike our friends🔯, this won’t result in a love𝐆 triangle because we don’t fancy each other. Wouldn’t that be awkward?
CORDELIA : Can you imagine that?
ANGEL : Ha ha ha!
CORDELIA : Ha ha ha!
JOSS WHEDON : Wait a m🀅inute, I’m getting an idea... [Does the🦂 dance of joy]
ANGEL : Let’s go home. I’m fꦗeeling quite happy and j♕olly.
They go home. They find WILLOW waiting for them with the news that BUFFY is DEAD .
ANGEL : Engaging ‘brood’ mode.
CORDELIA : Oh well, back to normal! But at least your hair looks better now.
ENDS .
Script by Jayne Nelson.
Nick Setchfield is the Editor-at-Large for SFX Magazine, writing features, reviews, interviews, and more for the monthly issues. However, he is also a freelance journalist and author with Titan Books. His original novels are called The War in the Dark, and The Spider Dance. He's also written a book on James Bond called Mission Statemen▨ts.
