Romance Of The Three Kingdoms XI - originally a PC/PS2 strategy-’em-up - is a bewilderingly complex game in anyone’s native language. Playing it in Japanese, we spent the first half hour trying to find out how to move the camera. But If you’ve got a Japanese Wii, a translation guide and a real taste for proper synapse-fizzing strategy, this will satisfy you like a🐽 seven-course meal. A meal made out of horses and men.

Imagine Advance Wars or Final Fantasy Tactics given a mug full of IQ juice and hurtled back in time 18 centuries. You’re a real-life Chinese ruler in 220CE, responsible for fine-tuning just about everything from trade treaties to the number of barns in your city - while still, of course, ordering groups of men on horses to gallop all over the faces of rival armies. It’s like SimCity combined with 1♍5 simultane☂ous games of chess, and Koei has no patience for newcomers