Nintendo just revealed how old Bowser and Bowser Jr. are and nothing makes sense anymore

Bowser
(Image credit: Lego, TheBrickFan)

Nintendo has sprinkled characters' official ages around in various games before - a trophy in Smash Bros. Melee reveals Mario to be 26, for example - but never Bowser and Bowser Jr. However, both characters' official ages have been ever-so-subtly confirmed f🐎or the first time, and the entire Mario canon has been thr♕own into chaos.

As spotted by , Nintendo recently published a video on its official YouTube channel teachi𒀰ng you how to make a Nintendo account. And of course, because everything - including boring instructional videos - has to be extremely cute and on-brand in Nintendo world, the examples they show are for Bowser and his son, Bowser Jr. As we're walked through the account creation process, you can clearly see both characters' birthdays, which would be a much less significant story if the information didn't conflict with everything we know about the Mario series. 

According to Nintendo, Bowser was born on February 5, 1989, making him 34 years old at the time of publication. Meanwhile, Bowser Jr. was apparently born𝕴 on March 3, 2010, meaning he just turned 13 years old a couple months back. 

This makes no𓆉 sense. I remember being introduced to Bowser Jr. back in 2002 with Super Mario Sunshine🎀, which would suggest he can't possibly be any younger than 21. Likewise, Bowser made his first appearance in 1985's Super Mario Bros. 38 years ago.

Look, I don't like to be re𝄹minded how much time has passed since all of these dates either, but we need to get to the truth here. If Bowser is only 34 and Bowser Jr. is just 13, then how could they have existed 38 years ago and 21 years ago, respectively? One possibility is that those games actually take place in the future - after all, it's not like either game ever specified a time setꩲting.

Or maybe time doesn't move at all in the Mario universe. That would 🐻explain whಌy none of the characters seem to ever age, despite the decades we've known them. Another theory is that there's a Mario multiverse in which every game is a separate and distinct universe, but then why would Nintendo reveal this new information without the context of any one game? 

Of course, the only real answer here is that Nintendo put  very little thought into revealing this pair of birthdays and how they fit into established Mario canon, likely be🔥cause Mario canon is at best a bunch of nonsense. Bowser is 34 and Bowser Jr. is 13, no matter how much conclusive proof to the contrary we as fans can present. As long as Nintendo owns the IP ♍rights, it makes the rules.

Here are the 澳洲幸运5开奖号码历史查询:best Switch games to play and forget any of this happened.

After earning an English degree from ASU, I worked as a corporate copy editor while freelancing𒁃 for places like SFX Magazine, Screen Rant, Game Revolution, and MMORPG on the side. I got my big break here in 2019 with a freelance news gig, and I was hired on as GamesRadar's west coast Staff Writer in 2021. That means I'm responsible for managing the site's western regional executive branch, AKA my home office, and writing about whatever horror game I'm too afraid to finish.