John Carpenter might not have made many good decisions lately, but passing on this duff role-playing-ga𒆙me adap was definitely one of them.

Although even at his peak the Halloween man would’ve had his work cut out salvaging a po-faced yet laughable script that sends a squad of 23 ^rd -century soldi✃ers to stop a machine-made mutant army spewing from the centre of🦂 the earth.

Fist-chewing dialogue is partnered in crime by muddy, ugly, Sky Captain-style visuals and editing that screws all sense of who’s slaughtering whom. As in 2001’s Lighthouse, dirಌector Simon Hunter hits his set-piece stride now and then (top-billed hardcase Thomas Jane’s tussle with a Matrix-y sado-bot) and there’s enough goring and gashing to shame a bullfight. But for portentousness and bungled ideas, these Chronicles are on a par with Riddick’s.