Above: The mini-dance mat, yesterday. Bit of a cheat if you ask us

The Handheld Dance Mat
A , designed to be played by hand. Which, of course, really defeats the purpose, doesn't it? But then, with most gamers possessing hugely༒ musc♉ular hands trained from hours of pad-grasping, combined with the reed-thin sun-starved legs of an invalid, perhaps this cop-out controller isn't the bare-faced cheat it first appears to be. Of course, it does serve the admirable duty of enabling disabled gamers to get involved, though perhaps with a slightly unfair advantage...

They say: "D💦ance mat controller for the hands"; "Play against people using full sized dance mats"; "Too fat, too old or too lazy to get into dancing games?"

What they don't say: "Take to parties to avoid awkward late-night dampness"; "Play against people using dance mats, incurring their disဣgust and envy at the same time!"; "Too fat, old or lazy? Stay that way!"