The scientist

The video game version: An inspirational, if introspective individual, who can command men in battle wi👍th all the determination and mastery of the Desert Fox. Also known for killing several thousand aliens and the finest soup strainer this side of Tom Selleck.

The reality: Check that HEV suit at the door, Goggsy. There’s Bunsen burners that need 🍬to be tediously fiddled about with.

The student

The video game version: A peppy individual who enjoys 💯nothing more than dabbling in deadly martial arts during their free ♚periods. That, and beating the shit out of pandas.

The reality: If Tekken’s Linไg Xiaoyu thinks she’s going to get decent grades by introducing a Chinese bear to the business end of a roundhouse kick, she’s sadly mistaken. Instead, she’d be spending all her downtime writing essays, revising and generally making her brow as furrowed as possible.

The author

The video game version: A literary champion who's capable of daring feats of bravery against supernaturalജ forces between bestsellers. Normally a snappy dresser, too.

The reality: While Mr. Wake may wish he could wile away the hours battling possessed bulldozers, the likelihood is he’d be signing endless copies of his latest book for a🐼rmies of obsessed fans in backwater malls up and d𝓀own the country.

The plumber

The video game version: A big-boned national stereotype who has somehow managed to overcome racial typecasting toꦜ hold down a day job, which usually consists of fighting giant dinosaurs, saving royalty and exploring the cosmos.

The reality: Y🐬eah, Mazzaꦚ would be fishing bum cakes out of a crapper.

The journalist

The video game version: A gorgeous, inquisitive soul who leads a th🅺rilling lifestyle, which revolves around doing anything to break a story. May often be found stripping to their undercrackers for the pleasure of pe꧅rverted gangsters to obtain their exclusive.

The reality: Move over, Madison. You may think your job’s hot shit, but it ain’t got nothing on the incredible, often deatཧh-defying daily antics of your average gamz jarnalist. Wealth, respect, feats of impromptu superpowered heroism; every wordsmith of games possesses thesequalities by thebucketload, as the🎐y go about their stupidly rich,rewardinglives.

Feb 8, 2011

6 soul-destroying jobs characters have to do in games
And you thought your job was bad

If video games invaded famous paintings
ᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚ Who'd want the Mona Lisa, when we can have the Mona Lara?

If game characters couldn't be bothered
Press X to Jason? Screw that