FROM: Mortal Kombat series/Starfox series

Fox does a barrel roll and uses the boost to get through. This takes him out of bounds, and Sub-Zero wins by forfeit. Flawless victory! Banality!

FROM: Donkey Kong Country 3/Duke Nukem series

Dixie tries to use her helicopter ponytail bullshit to jump on Duke Nukem's head. Duke, unfazed, shows her his "Dixie" and mercilessly whales on her bongos💎. Nukem wins. Can you believe this wa𒈔s written by college graduates?

FROM: 💦Heavenly Sword/The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction

HULK SMASH. Nariko fails ♚to save the๊ PS3. Hulk wins.

FROM: Half-Life series/Duck Hunt

The dog laughs. Gordon bashes his head in with a crowbar. Everyone laughs.

FROM: Castlevania series/Okami

Amaterasu uses her paintbrush to paint a really gay-looking mustache on Simon’s face. The paint contains traces of peanuts. Simon, allergic to peanuts, goes into anaphylactic shock and dies. Painty wolf wins.