Canine rectal examinations, spunky hand flicks, numerous references to 📖"arse munching..." Welcome to the UK's latest atte♛mpt at the gross-outer. The sick brain-puppy of co-writers Moody Shoaibi and Mark Tonderai, Dog Eat Dog is more the runt of the litter than a top woofer.

This sloppily-edited sequence of unfunny episodes involves four West London-based DJ friends who want to play at their local club, but who, via a botched dog-napping incident, incur the wrath of a local drug dealer named Jesus (Gary Kemp). A few notable cameos (The Office's Ricky Gervais as a doorman, Alan Davies as a creepy loser, All Saints' Melanie Blatt as a bitch-whore ex-girlfriend🏅) do little to improve the comedy level, while some heavy doses of misogyny and homophobia hardly help matters. Less dog's, more bollocks, it's facile, juvenile 🌸and completely missable.