NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY NUDES
Contrary to what your teachers and Al Gore will tell you, the internet was invented for the sole purpose of seeing your favorite pop-culture icons naked. But mankind was once again underestimated, and in the web’s infancy, humanity managed to exhaust what could b𒁏e done with hand-drawn pictures of Cinderella pleasuring Speedy Gonzalez. So, 8-bit nude hacks were just a natural progression.
Nude Mario
Hack of: Super Mario Bros.
The laཧck of a title should let you know that you’re in for a slightly more bare affair. However, it is a tiny bit misleading. Mario’s refusal to remove his hat would perpetuate rumors of baldness,leading to anoverall insecurity that wouldn’t go away for years. So, mad (sad) props to the hacker for keeping the man’s schlong in proportion to his body. Now we know the magic Mushroom offers complete male enhancement.
The Naked Little Mermaid
Hack of: The Little Mermaid
Who hasn’t wanted to see Ariel nude? What’s she got under that dorsal fin anyway? Well, we still don’t quite know, since this hack keeps everything b♐ut her seashells intact, now replaced with two pink pixels. Such a process shall hence🤡forth be known as “xipples.” Hot? No, not.
Nude Samus
Hack of: Metroid
Yeah, you got us. We threw in that shot of Zero Suit Samus, ju♏st to keep you𒊎 reading.
All Nude Samus has to offer is exactly that (starting to s🅠ee a pattern?) And that ain’t much, unless you&𝔍rsquo;re into green pubic hair. Luckily, we have a Joker fetish.
Nude Punch-Out!
Hack: Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!
Trunks ⭕have been🅠 junked, albeit extremely inconsistently thanks to some slapdash hackery.
Every seen a flesh-colored maraca before? Now you have. So, let’s never mentio🍬n this hack, or Bald Bull's moo🔯se knuckle, ever again.
Little Remo: The Child Abuser
Hack: Little Nemo: The Dream Master
Having mined homosexuality🔥 for all its inherent humor, the hackerreplaces various nouns and verbs with sexually perverse terminology for an extremely immature game of digital Mad-libs. Keys are now dildos, animal suits recreate crude sex acts, and almost every character has been given some form of bare tit or gigantic erection in place of something useful. In other words: Art!
