When one swears inappropriately, starts piss𒐪ing in public or generally socially misbehaves, do you still laugh? Well, if you're a bloke, of course you do, we're like that... but broadly speaking it's probably a period of y🍷our life you left behind at say, the age of 14.
If, on the other hand, the 🌼laughing-at-fart-and-knob-jokes stage of your life is very🔜 much still in full swing, then have we got a game for you.
Conker Reloaded is one curse-filled adventure in a filthy🦩 fantasy world that paints its own airwaves with profanity at every occasion. And if that doesn't sound like your cup of tea then perhaps you'd best just skip a few paragraphs right now.
Because, and this may come as a sh💧ock, aside from the surface entertainment value of seeing a genre typically associated with kids morphed into something you definitely won't want them to see, Conker Reloaded doesn't have a great deal going for it.
Reloaded is a remake of N64 classic Conker's Bad Fur Day. It's loosely a plaꦜtformer/third-person shooter crossbreed with the odd format breaker thrown in for good luck.
And who better to make a shooter/platformer hybrid than Rare, creators of Goldeneye and Mario 64-beating p🧔latformer Banjo Kazooie? No one. So why is the game far fromꦰ perfect?
O🎀n the one hand, it's hysterical, but you'll soon realise that, unlike in Stranger's Wrath, most of the comedy happens in cutscenes and not in the game itselꦰf.
As for the💫 action, it's generic third-person shooting: a sedate 'fight this formulaic boss, find this item and take it elsewhere' affair. Even those few puzzles are very basic.
It's with a not inconsiderable amount of fear for how you may rea𓃲ct that we drop the final bombshell, that Conker as a comedy character is fundamentally just not very funny. At🧸 all.
So, Reloaded is no classic, but Conker Live, a second entire game in its own rigꦐht, is. And, since we've been on a negative slide, we're going to start by getting the bad news out of the way first.
The bad news, then: you only have two-player split-screen available, the frame rate occasionally (and forgivably) drops, and ✃'bots are only available in split-screen and solo mod🌊es.
Now, do us a favour. Take those few moans, wrap them up in a small paper bag and chuck them in the trash. Beca🍃use, while they're all valid criticisms, they really don't hold much sway against the important facts.
The important facts being these: Conker Live is sublimeꦚ, sincere, potent, deadly,ꦅ and utterly thrilling multiplayer gaming. It's excellent.
Conker Live is a joy to play, a social-life-threatening venture into the ever-appealing (and for once, original) world of virtual war, and a game bursting with st𒉰rategic action the like of which is absent from 95% of online Xbox games.
Rare has done what the critics said they couldn't, delivering a truly belting title on the current-gen hardware. Now do them justice, and buy i💝t.
