Pete Doherty mak♊es his firs🥃t big-screen outing in this sterile stab at Alfred de Musset’s 1836 confessional.

It must have seemed like a good idea at the🍃 time, casting the former Libertines frontman as Octave, the debauched Parisian, bu🧜t the novelty soon wears off.

Suffocated by ꩲSylvie Verheyde’s lifeless direction, Doherty’s so ill at ease you’d think his britches were too tight.

A love story between Octave and his cousin Brigitte (Charlotte Gainsbourg), it doesn’t help that - in a French film - all dialoཧgue is in English.

The result is dusty, drab and dreary.