In case you missed the memo, Gears of War is friggin' fantastic. It's a no-nons💃ense shooter that'sbig, brutish and bloꦦody.

We've crawled from our holes to bring you a list of the essential stuff that you absolutely have to check out on your first Gears of War session.

So, grab your COG togs and get stuck 🌟into the action...

Chainsaw
So, you've got this gun called the Lancer, right, and it's a good gun - it can waste Locust scum from a d🔴ecent range and spits bullets at a rapid rate, but it's a cheeky little temptress that can get you in some seriously sticky situations.

You see, it's equipped with a chainsaw and, in case you didn't know, chainsaws on the battle field are fun. So much fun, in fact, that in moments that require cool thinking, you'🗹re overwhelmed with an irresistible urge to rev that baby up and charge in like a demented lumb🧸erjack in the hope of plowing a fleshy trough in someone's chest.

But, believe us, itꦍs well worth the risk for the carnage it causes.

Above: Carbide-tipped chainsaw teeth versus Locust flesh. Face it, there's only going to be one winner.

For ultimate satisfaction, sneak up on an opponent smugly manning a Troika gun turret in an online brawl and let them hear the buzzing sound of imminent death for a sec𒆙ond before you plunge the steely, bloodthirsty teeth into⭕ their fleshy bits.

If walking away from a steaming pile of unidentifiable meat and bone doe൩sn't make you feel like a real man, nothing will.