With its prowling camera hunting nubile teens through a cavernous sorority house, Bob Clark’s 1974 original is the missing link between Psycho and Halloween. It is, then, a seminal slasher – and scary as hell despite crawling along like it has a k𒁃nife in its back.

From Glen Morgan – the producer of Final Destination 1 and 3 – comes a dunderhead redux that quickens the pace but not the pulse. The premise is the same but the sorority sisters are now just so much sweet meat to feed to the g⛎rinder, their expanded numbers and shrunken charisma leading to a flurry of senseless, su♚spenseless deaths. Refusing to learn from the Chain Saw and Hills Have Eyes remakes, Morgan also burdens his mad-eyed killer with – shudder – a backstory.

Positives? An Argento-esque fixation with eyes and voyeurism and ဣa couple of serviceable in-jokes (“It’s the l🎃ast house on the right”). Ho, ho, ho-hum.