The latest main event in our Battle Royale series features cinematic serial killers in a bloody brawl-for-all.

For this showdown, we've matched each killer against a rival of si💯milar stature.

Join us, then, as the murderous malcontents bathe in the blood of their foes, devour and debase the bodies of 🐠their victims, and lis🔜ten to Huey Lewis & The News...

Real Life Killers

Henry Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

Based on real life serial kille🌊r Henry Lee Lucas, a man who at one point claimed over 600 victims.

Interestingly he was the only death-row convict to have his sentence commuted to life by then Texas Gove♔rnor George W. Bush. Yay.

Michael Rooker Insanity Factor: 10

Inappropriate-relations-with-a-minor-ness: 1

Kill Factor : 9

Shot point blank by…

The Zodiac Killer Zodiac (2007)

Based on San Francisco’s legendary Zodiac Killer, who terrorized the city from 1968 – 1969. ♌(Conspiracy types claim 1963 – 1973)

He wins t🐻he round, because, despite many investigations, suspects and theories, the Zodiac was never caught. Plus, he knows where you live…

Letter Writing Ability: 9

Homemade Costume Design Factor: 10

Kill Factor : 10

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Cannibal Killers

Leatherface The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Series (1977 –)

The chainsaw wielding murderer, from a 🤡family of cannibals, who’s hobbies include human dismemberment and sewing.

Partially based on Texan serial killer Ed Gein, who killed a🦂nd dug up corpses, populating his house with furniture made from human skin and body 🍰parts.

Chainsaw Skills: 9

Human Face-Mask Visibility Issues: 3

Kill Factor: 8

Devoured and served with a nice Chianti by…

Hannibal Lecter The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Lecter wins this one on smarts. He✅ would outwit half-wit Leatherface every da🐼y of the week, twice on Sundays.

Lecter was pಌartially inspired by notorious serial killer Ted Bundy, who, while lock൲ed up in Florida, helped investigators catch Seattle’s Green River Killer.

Staring-Competition Skills: 10

Food/Wine Matching Ability: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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American Dream Gone Awry Killers

Early Grayce Kalifornia (1995)

What is more American than the road trip? For that matter, what is more American t♏han the serial killer?

A road trip around fa๊mous serial killer sites with Mulder from the X-Files turns deadly when violent redneck Early ‘done gone crazy’.

Brad Pitt w/Beard Factor: 10

Duchovny-Bashing Points: 9

Kill Factor: 9

Given the corporate axe by…

Patrick Bateman American Psycho (2000)

Based♕ on Bret Easton Ellis’ satire of Regan-era corporate greed, the death of the American Dream, and sometime Hu🤡ey Lewis critque.

Bateman could buy and sell Early Graycꩲe with a phone call… Or chop him up and stuff his body into a Louis Vuitton over🎃size-duffel.

Ability to Return Video-Tapes: 9

Business Card Envy Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Stalker/Slasher Killers

Jason Voorhies Friday the 13th Series (1981 –)

You already saw what happened when Jason went up agai𝄹nst Freddy, and you’ll never get🐠 that 90 minutes back.

Now the re♚al showdown of the stalker/slashers. Jason borrowed a lot from Michael Myers, including his copy of Catcher in the Rye. He wants it back.

I Love My Mother Factor: 10

Actual Hockey Playing Skills: 7

Kill Factor: 9.5

Impaled on a large kitchen knife by…

Michael Myers Halloween (1978)

Despite Rob Zombie doing his best to kill Carpenter’s awesome legacy, Halloween gave birth to the stalker/slasher genre.

Myers wins because he carries none of those Mommy issues that seem to plague Jason. Well not until Rob Zombie’s H2 anyway.

Think-That's-A-Knife?-This-Is-A-Knife Skills: 10

William Shatner Mask Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Kevin Williamson’s Killer Creations

The Fisherman I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

Adapted from Leo Tolstoy’s sweeping Russian epic, this was written before Scream , then sold when everyone wan𓆏ted on the KW train.

Entirely populated by the usual unusually self-aware teens Williamson is known for, who get💮 butchered by a back from the dead fishe𒅌rman.

Waterproofing: 9

Deadliest Catch Crabbing Skills: 8

Kill Factor: 7

Stabbed in classic slasher movie style by…

Ghost Face Scream (1996)

Ghos♕t Face wins this on witty banter alone. The Fisherman doesn’t speak, and only has a raincoat💦 and accessories. Ghost Face has the face of a ghost. Yeah.

He’s the kind of killer we apprecꦅiate at Total🐟 Film. He not only kills you, he tests your movie trivia too, and we like to think we’d get top marks.

Film Trivia Knowledge: 9

Mask-Based-On-Turn-Of-The-Century-Norwiegen-Expressionist-Art Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 9

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Female Killers

Aileen Wuornos Monster (2003)

After suffering abuse and rape at the hands of men folk, Aileen snapped started killing &♚lsquo;Johns’ who paid for the privilege.

Female serial killers are extremely𒁏 rare, and this is one gal that makes us glad we aren’t c🐼alled ‘John’. Or Stuart Townsend.

Fury of a Woman Scorned: 10

What Has Charlize Done?-ness: 3

Kill Factor: 8

Given an arrow through the throat by...

Pamela Voorhees Friday the 13th (1980)

A prime example of leave it to Mother. She puts Jason to shame with 𝔉her stealth tactics, aptitude for murder and inconspicu🃏ous appearance.

She takes this round because although she had a screw most definitely loose💟, she doesn’t spend the whole film going on about it. Just like 5 minutes.

Inconspicuous Factor: 9

Kevin Bacon Slaying Ability: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Lecter’s Buddies

Francis Dollarhyde Red Dragon/Manhunter (1986/2002)

Played by Ralph Fiennes in 2002’s Red Dragon and Tom Noonan in 1986’s Manhunter , though ᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚNoonan is creepier, and Manhunter is better.

Known as the Tooth Fairy, which fails to give any chills at all, he slaughters entire families and likes trips 💛to the zoo.

Tree-Climbing Abiltiy: 9

Great-First-Date Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 9.5

Skinned alive by…

Buffalo Bill The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

It’ll always be Bill. Played to perfection by🌞 Ted Levine, he cuts pieces of skin from chubby girls in order to sew a woman suit to wear.

Famous for ‘It puts the lotion in the basket’ and the o🍸h so memora𒉰ble ‘mangina’ dance sequence, ousts sad sack Dollarhyde every time.

Chubby Chaser Factor: 10

Mangina Dance Skills: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Voyeur Killers

Norman Bates Psycho (1960)

Arguably the most influential horror film of all time, Psycho has done for motel rooms what Jaws did for Roy Schieder. Was released just three months after Peeping Tom .

Norman Bates spies on beautiful women who stay at his motel, and introduces them to his friend, 🙈knifey. Also has a penchant for suspenders.

Spy Hole Drilling Skills: 10

Cross-Dressing Factor: 7

Kill Factor: 9.5

Filmed dying by…

Mark Lewis Peeping Tom (1960)

Tough round. Peeping Tom came before Psycho , and influenced voyeuristic elements in several Hitchcock works, notably in Vertigo ’s opening credits.

Managed to co🌠mplete his documentary, even when found out. An inspriation for maverick filmmakers𝔍 everywhere. Well Werner Herzog anyway.

Knife-In-Tripod-Leg Factor: 9

Paul-Greengrass-Inspiring-Handheld-Camera-Technique: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Diminutive Killers

Leprechaun Leprechaun (1994)

In a film that makes House Party look like House Party 2 , we get Warwick Davis as an angry Le꧟prechaun out for his pot o’ gold.

Administers death in various comical ways, including with a pogo stick. 🍌This film does little for Irish ꦆor Little Person relations.

Fancy Dress Skills: 8

Where's Me Pot o' Gold? Factor: 8

Kill Factor: 7

Ankles bitten by…

The Dwarf Don’t Look Now (1973)

The far more successful and terrifying diminutive killer from Nicholas Roeg&rsqu𝄹o;s 1973 psychological thril🐽ler takes this round.

With a red hooded cape, the killer scampers aroun🐼d Venice, eluding police and racking up bodies, and she gets away with it too.

Little Girl Impersonation Skills: 8

Dandy Red Cape Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 9

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Killer Dolls

Chucky Child’s Play (1988)

Child’s Play caused a huge stir wh🅠en it was released in 1988. Anyone watching t﷽oday is going to wonder what all the fuss was about.

A doll inhabited by the murderous spirit of Brad Dourif, looking for a human host to ask why he only plays psyꦅchos, schizos and wierdos.

Insane Doll Strength: 9

Killing Chris Sarandon Ability: 5

Kill Factor: 7

Locked in the trunk and dumped in the lake by...

Fats Magic (1978)

Who thought that a film teaming Dick🧸ie Attenborough, Willi꧒am Goldman and Anthony Hopkins could be anything less than magic?

Fats the murderous marionette wins this round because he gets Hannibal Lecter himself tܫo do his dirty ♒work. Chuck can’t claim that.

Hand-Up-Arse-Irritability: 10

Getting-Lecter-To-Do-Your-Bidding-Skills: 9

Kill factor: 8

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Star-Crossed Killers

Mickey and Mallory Natural Born Killers (1994)

Unpredictable, psychiotic and ultra-violent, Mickey and Mallory are the most dangerous combination since the Blue Brothers, who were the most🍸 dangerous combination since nitro and glycerine.

Based, like Badlands , on the spree killings of Charles Starkweather and Caril Ann Fugate in 1957, though here ver☂y loos✃ely so.

Oliver-Stone-Tact-Skills: 5

Julliette Lewis Acts Like She's On Crack Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 9

Slaughtered along with their entire families by...

Kit and Holly Badlands (1973)

Kit would tie Mickey and Mallory to a tree and shoot them for their attention grabbing, media w☂hore abomination of a killi꧃ng spree.

Terrence Maliclk’s seminal 1973 film is a master class in restraint and minimalism. Plus, it shits on Natural Born Killers .

Isn't She Like Fifteen?-ness: 10

Didn't He Grow Up To Be President On West Wing? Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 10

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Killer Plans

Louis Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

Louis is a man with a plan. In order 💛to become a Duke he needs to kill eigh🌱t members of the D’Ascoyne family.

Obi Wan Kenobi plays all eight members of the family, who die by various means before, in an ironic twist, Louis ꧟is arrested for a crime he ☂didn’t commit.

Witty-Deathbed-Lyricism-Skills: 10

Obi Wan in Drag Factor: 8

Kill Factor: 9

Executed for his sins by…

John Doe Seven (1995)

The insane genius behind Seven ’s gruesome ๊series of murders, he෴’d dispatch Louis for his Greed.

Seeing his 🗹grand plan come together exactly as plotted, and sacrificing himself for his own sin, John Doe is one of the most diabolical killers in film history. He's also the man to see for diet tips.

Journal Writing Skills: 10

What's In The Box? Factor: 10

Kill Factor: 11 (This was his life's work, after all)

Who would you like to see showdown? Let us know in𝕴 the comments.

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