It might have initially seemed like an April Fool's gag, but and genuinely loving it was all too real.
After visiting the notorious detention centre with her pal Miss USA,🐽 she really did describe the alleged torture site as: "A loooot of fun!" in her blog.
Ignoring the barbed wire, minefieᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚlds and chaps with guns, she proclaimed the prison to be a: "relax🎉ing, calm, beautiful place."
Now, we're sure there's a dark poetry to be found in places like Guantánamo Bay, b♐ut boasting about its "unbelievable" beach is probably a 🐻little too glass half-full for our liking.
So, 🍨i𓃲t seems Miss Universe has some pretty low expectations when it comes to holiday destinations. Maybe she'd enjoy this lot, then.
The Destination: Azkaban - (2004)
The Appeal: The soul sucking Dementors guarding the wizarding prison know꧃n as Azkaban feed on positive emotions, so, logically, it must be a pretty fun place, right? You know, so the guards always have plenty to eat? Also, it's located on a tiny island on the North Sea, so it probably has "unbelievable" beaches.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "I've had such an amazꦗing day. I met an actual, real-life magician! He did this trick where h🍃e sobbed and cried for literally ages. I kept watching his hands really closely to see how he did it, but nothing! Then he made a big black sheet float above him, then he went really gaunt and tired. It was grrrrrrrrreat!"[page-break]
The Destination: The Swamp Of Sadness - (1984)
The Appeal: If Miss Universe🃏's travel buddies are real whingers, she ღcan take them to the Swamp Of Sadness and be rid of them in, like, two minutes tops.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "You'll never guess what happened 🙈to m🌌e since the last time I posted! I went to this really cool swamp with my friends, and my friends played this awesome trick on me!
I was talking to them about my life, and my interests, like travel and beaches and things, and I turned around 🤪and they were all hiding from me! Even Miss USA, and she's rubbish at hide-and-go-seek! Hahaha, guys. Joke's over now, though. It's been two weeks. I miss you."[page-break]
The Destination: Any Of ౠFreddy Krueger's Ni🀅ghtmares - A Nightmare On Elm Street to Freddy Versus Jason (1984 - 2003)
The Appeal: It's the chance to fully explore every single fear, phobia and bad pun Miss Universe has ever experienced. She'll really learn a lot about herself in Freddy's scary skull. It's aও holiday of discovery, basically.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "I met a lovely man today, he was holding a bottle of Tequila and he said to me: "Let's get legless!" then he tore off both of my legs🔯! It was so funny. Then he said, "You look harmless to ༒me!" only he dropped the h in harmless, and he tore off both of my arms, which really hurt. Best. Holiday. Ever."[page-break]
The Destination: The Bog Of Eternal Stench - (1986)
The Appeal: David Bowie hangs out there. And, let's face it, we'd be prepared to put up with a lifetime of smelling like Ludo poo in exchan🐟ge for a cou༒ple of minutes in the presence of the Goblin King.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "It's weird, but ever since I met David Bowie last week, my life has been super easy. Whenever I go to queue up for something, everyone in the shop just gets out of my way and leaves me to it! I g🃏et the whole shop to myself! It's the same whenever I get into an elevator, or go a party! I love being Miss Universe."[page-break]
The Destination: Erewhon Prison - (1997)
The Appeal: Not only is i𒊎t an anagram of 'nowhere' but you get a r♊eally cool makeover as part of the package deal. Also, it floats in the sky. So, good views.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "Went to an amazing spa this weekend. They gave me this really intense face-pack, which I think was made out of apples. It stung a little bit when they took it off. They have this running joke at the spa, where they keep calling me Nicolas Cage. 'Hello Mr Nicolas Cage,' the🅷y ke🐠pt saying. 'Have you signed the contract for Wicker Man 2: How'd It Get Burned yet?'
[page-break]
The Destination: A Small Room - (2003)
The Appeal: It's fifteen years of solitary confinement, in a small locked room, with oᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚnly the occasional meal and telly programme to look forward to. Brilliant!
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "I got so lonely I started to hallucinate ants coming out of my arms! It was, like, totally𝓀 amazing! They were really realistic and friendly."[page-break]
The Destination: Bruges - (2008)
The Appeal: We'𝓀re not sure if it has any, actually. Even midgets have to take drugs to st✃ick it.
Miss Universe's Subsequent Blog Entry: "I wentꦍ to Bruges this week. It was an effin' sh*thole."
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