Citizen Kane (1941)

The Tagline: It's terrific!

Why It's Terrible: We guess all of the effort involved in actually making it terrific had exhausted 🥀everyone's capacity to think up a decent description.

What They Should Have Done: Charles Foster Kane. "I am, have bee♍n, and will be only one thing: an American."

The Blob (1988)

The Tagline: Terror has no shape.

Why It's Terrible: Of course, terror has no shape. It's an feeling.

What They Should Have Done: Things are gonna get messy.

Bulletproof Monk (2003)

The Tagline: A monk. A punk. A chick. In a kick-ass flick.

Why It's Terrible: It sounds like a poster quote from a low-rent blog, noꩵt the official strapline of a movie with millions of dollars of marketing expertise behind it.

What They Should Have Done: You've been monk'd.

The Specialist (1994)

The Tagline: The government taught him to kill. Now he's using his skills to help💝 a woman seek revenge against the Miami underworld.

Why It's Terrible: Not exactly pithy, is it?♔ And if your synopsis reads like any old straight-to-video gubbins, it's probably best not to shoutܫ about it.

What They Should Have Done: He has a very particular set of skills.

The Haunting (1999)

The Tagline: Some houses are born bad.

Why It's Terrible: Don't you need planning permission for that?

What They Should Have Done: They knew the legends. They didn't believe them.

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

The Tagline: It's all in the execution.

Why It's Terrible: Look at the picture. At some point, somebody decided to take Nic Cage's guns away, leaving him unable to execute a🌳nything.

What They Should Have Done: Thai fighter.

Charlie Wilson's War (2007)

The Tagline: A stiff drink. A little mascara. A lot of nerve. Who said they couldn't bring down 𝐆ꦏthe Soviet empire.

Why It's Terrible: ♔ The missing question mark. These thing matter, d🦋ammit.

What They Should Have Done: Change the last sentenc💟e to "That's all they ne🐷eded to bring down the Soviet empire."

SpaceCamp (1986)

The Tagline: They came to SpaceCamp with the dream of becoming astroꦕnauts. Suddenly...Without warning...Before they were read💜y...They were launched into space.

Why It's Terrible: W🍨hat's with the staccato… Effect? Did William…Shatner&hel🦩lip;.Write this?

What They Should Have Done: Are you an astronaut or an astro-not?

Above The Law (1988)

The Tagline: He ♕was a covert agent trained inꦿ Vietnam. He has a master 6th degree Black Belt in Aikido…and family in the Mafia. He’s an cop with an attitude.

Why It's Terrible: That's not a tagline, that's a LinkedIn profile.

What They Should Have Done: The🍃 badder the criminals, the more bad-ass the cop.

The Magnificent Seven (1960)

The Tagline: The magnificent one.

Why It's Terrible: Mathematical ambiguity.

What They Should Have Done: The v♋eteran. Th♛e drifter. The fortune-hunter. The thinker. The outlaw. The protector. The rookie. Together, they're magnificent.