They Live (1988)
The '80s Original: Drifter Nada (Roddy Piper) discovers that aliens have taken over the planet and are controlling the population with subliminal messaging only viewable when you put special sunglasses on.
Why They Should Never Remake It: John Carpenter's film was way ahead of its time, which means it still feels relevant today. And, Roddy Piper as the hero? How awesome is that?!
If They Really Have To: Take the concept even further by having the aliens take over the internet, controlling the general populace t𓃲hrough Facebook…
Adventures In Babysitting (1987)
The '80s Original: Chris Parker (Elisabeth Shue) goes on, yes, an adventure when she signs up to look after a trio of kids.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It'd be like doing a remake of Home Alone . Chris Columbus' film remains a silly little delight and it doesn't need a dust off, thank you very much.
If They Really Have To: Turn it into a crime caper with Die Hard-likꦛe action set-𝐆pieces.
Cat People (1982)
The '80s Original: A remake of the 1942 flick, but it's already dated pretty hugely, with Nastassja Kinski playing the young woman who turns into a cat if she has sex.
Yes, you read that right…
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's already a remake, meaning the concept's probably wearing a bit thin.
If They Really Have To: Give it to Lars Von Trie♓r (he loves a bit of sexuality-driven horroꦜr) and let him go wild.
Puppet Master (1989)
The '80s Original: Alex (Paul Le Mat) investigates 50 years after puppeteer Andre Toulon apparently figured out how to bring puppets to life - then promptly killed himself. Could Nazis really be responsible for his death?
Why They Should Never Remake It: There's no denying this is pretty daft already without mashing it through the remake machine.
If They Really Have To: The film would revolve around a reality TV show like Big Brother, where contestants have to survive attacks from creepy puppets.
But♚ are people being manipulated by invisible strings, too?
The Last Starfighter (1984)
The '80s Original: A shoddy Star Wars-inspired sci-fi that comes with a pretty neat concept at its core - videogamer Alex (Lance Guest) has been playing a game that's being monitored by aliens who want to recruit the best players to become space soldiers.
Why They Should Never Remake It: The special effects are massively crap, but there's a charm about the film that means we still watch it today.
If They Really Have To: It could be a sci-fi version of Hunger Games set on an intergalactic scale.
Lifeforce (1985)
The '80s Original: Sexy vampire flick from Tobe Hooper, which turns vampires into aliens who crash land on Earth and start munching their way through the planet's population.
Why They Should Never Remake It: The idea's brilliantly tacky and worked (JUST) in the eighties. It wouldn't work now.
If They Really Have To: Cast Robe𝓀rt Pattinson as an alien vampire. Cos why the hell not?
*batteries not included (1987)
The '80s Original: The residents of an apartment building that's about to get torn down befriend weird little mechanical aliens who might be able to help them in their plight.
Why They Should Never Remake It : Do kids even know what batteries are anymore?
If They Really Have To: Turn it into a mu✅sical. There really aren't enough musicals made t💯hese days.
Chopping Mall (1986)
The '80s Original: The ultimate nightmare - you're stuck in a mall and something wants to kill you.
Taking its cue from Dawn Of The Dead , this cyber-slasher sees a gaggle of teens attempting to outrun a killer security robot.
Why They Should Never Remake It: There's something gloriously eighties about a pre-iPad film that follows teens being butchered by a robot.
If They Really Have To: There were whispers of a remake in 2011, but that seems to have been lost to time now.
With the RoboCop reboot potentially making 'bots cool again, though, this one's ripe for a reboot. Just adꦚd water.
Pet Semetary (1989)
The '80s Original: Based on Stephen King's zombified novel, Mary Lambert's adap is a creepy delight following a young family whose dead son comes back to life. Could the nearby cemetery have something to do with it?
Why They Should Never Remake It: Miko Hughes, aged just THREE, delivers what remains one of the finest/creepiest kiddie performances in a film ever. Let's not sully that.
If They Really Have To: A remake's in the works with director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo currently on board, but how can he give the story a little modern-day oomph?
We say if it ain't broke, don't fix it. This story relies on old-school scares (and awesome zombie make-up). The casting of young Gage will be crucial, too.
Escape From New York (1981)
The '80s Original: Set in a post-apocalyptic future (er, 1997), Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) is sent into the prison that is Manhattan to rescue the US President. He has 22 hours to comply…
Why They Should Never Remake It: It'd be impossible to match Russell's cool as Plissken.
If They Really Have To: Do a remake/sequel called Escape From London , which is basically the exact same film only with different😼 landmarks and a hero called Snake Bite.
Highlander (1986)
The '80s Original: Immortal swordsman Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert) travels through time hunting an evil immortal.
Why They Should Never Remake It: They are - Snow White & The Huntsman visual effects supervisor Cedric Nicolas-Troyan just signed on to direct it this year.
If They Really Have To: Cast Christopher Lambert as ꧒Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez so that the passing of the sword has some sort of ⛎emotional resonance.
Top Gun (1986)
The '80s Original: Tom Cruise is Maverick, the daredevil pilot who doesn't play by anybody's rules. Even when he's playing volleyball.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's genre-defining and has serious star wattage going for it. Also, without Tony Scott around anymore, it just feels wrong.
If They Really Have To: Just take the homoeroticism and run with it. A gay(er) version of Top Gun ? Go on then.
Silver Bullet (1985)
The '80s Original: Corey Haim stars as Marty, a wheelchair-bound kid who could be the only one who stands between a werewolf and his sleepy little town.
Why They Should Never Remake It : In the wake of Haim's death, it would seem sort of insensitive to start raiding his back catalogue for remake potential.
If They Really Have To: The eighties are fundamental to the fun of this kid-centred horror.
A remake should take the Super 8 route and be set in the eighties for that super-isolated feeling - how does one battle a werewolf without the internet?!
Flight Of The Navigator (1986)
The '80s Original: Twelve-year-old David Freeman (Joey Cramer) is inadvertently whisked on a time-travelling adventure by an alien spacecraft.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Well, they are - Disney's handed the remake reins to Colin Trevorrow, which makes us ridiculously excited. Here's hoping he can match the dark charm of the original.
If They Really Have To: Set it in modern day, with our navigator hಌeading back to the eighties. Because the eighties were amazing.
Short Circuit (1986)
The '80s Original: "Number 5!" Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy star in this robo-comedy alongside sentient robot Number 5. His eyebrows are adorable.
Why They Should Never Remake It: FRIENDS already took a dig with Joey's show Mac & Cheese , so why bother?
If They Really Have To: Just call it Mac & Cheese and cast Matt LeBlanc. That show would totally work on the big screen.
Hey, if they can make MacGruber , they can make Mac & Cheese.
Waxwork (1988)
The '80s Original: A group of teens (who else?) visit a waxwork museum where it turns out that the mannequins might not be as lifeless as they first appear.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's just so mad that it could only come from the eighties. Why even bother trying to match it?
If They Really Have To: It would have to be as delightfully tongue-in-cheek as the original, with things like mannequin werewolves turning out to be ACTUAL WEREWOLVES.
Plus leave the CGI at home. Like the House Of Wax remake, this demands old-school prosthetics to really up the ick factor.
Heavy Metal (1981)
The '80s Original: Animated fantasy anthology produced by Ivan Reitman and based on stories that appeared in Heavy Metal magazine. Some of them are quite rude.
Why They Should Never Remake It: The film's a delicious curio that still stands as something genuinely unique. Seriously, who were they even making this for?
If They Really Have To: Nab some new stories from Heavy Metal and turn it into a reboot/sequel instead. There's a 🍰market forꦚ that, right?
Ghostbusters (1984)
The '80s Original: Parapsychologists Peter Venkman (Bill Murray), Raymond Stantz (Dan Aykroyd) and Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis) are the titular busters, taking ghosts down using science. YEAH, SCIENCE!
Why They Should Never Remake It: Ghostbusters is that rare combination of comedy, horror, brilliant performances and still-slick SFX that means it's - surely - untouchable.
If They Really Have To: At least cast Murray as a ghost or something.
The Blob (1988)
The '80s Original: A remake of the same-named 1958 film, in which a massive blob emerges from a meteorite in California and makes its way through the town of Arborville.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Would anybody really take the concept seriously today? Also, Tony Gardner's special effects are still fantastic.
If They Really Have To : Set it in the 1950s ag꧟ain and make it into a full-on horror comedy.
WarGames (1983)
The '80s Original: Computer hacker David (Matthew Broderick) inadvertently gains control of a weapon of mass destruction while playing on a computer game…
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's a singularly eighties premise - and so good that it was nominated for Oscars. Leave it alone, say we.
If They Really Have To: Make it into a Tron -like videogame flick, with a kid being sucked into the war game he's playing, Jumanji -stylee.
Fast Times At Ridgemont High (1982)
The '80s Original: Amy Heckerling directs Cameron Crowe's script about the final days of high school, where Mark Ratner (Brian Backer) moons over Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh).
Why They Should Never Remake It: The film's a perfect glimpse at high school life as it was in the eighties - and probably how it still is today.
Also, Jeff Spicoli…
If They Really Have To : We'd expect nothing short of Mean Girls -level comed☂y. In fact, giv▨e Tina Fey the reins and we'd actually consider watching this one.
Christine (1983)
The '80s Original: Geek Arnie (Keith Gordon) gets his first car, but there's something a little bit sinister about Christine, who seems to have a mind all her own.
Why They Should Never Remake It: John Carpenter's film made some ingenious departures from Stephen King's story (the car's just evil from birth) and Transformers already pretty much rinsed the 'boy's first car' premise dry.
If They Really Have To: Get Jodie Foster to voice the car. Naw, don't get yourself in a twist, we're just kidding.
If a remake wants to set itself apart from 🎀Carpenter's film, we say use King's original idea that the car's possessed by an evil spirit.
The Breakfast Club (1985)
The '80s Original: Coming-of-ager from John Hughes, starring the Brat Pack likes of Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy and Emilio Estevez, who attend weekend detention at school.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Nowadays, there's no such thing as a Brat Pack, meaning any contemporary ensemble would be unable to touch the magnificence of the original breakfast clubbers.
If They Really Have To: We say chuck a monster into the mix. Now the kids have to survive school AND BEING EATEN ALIVE.
E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
The '80s Original : Little kids Elliott (Henry Thomas) and Gertie (Drew Barrymore) (plus their skinny beanpole bro) meet a stranded alien and make friends. Then Steven Spielberg ruins your childhood.
Why They Should Never Remake It: If any film's untouchable, it's this one. Remaking ET would be like remaking Oldboy . Oh…
If They Really Have To: Use the abandoned script for ET 2 , which introduced killer aliens to the mix.
Child's Play (1988)
The '80s Original: The arrival of a cute little 'Good Guy' doll called Chucky coincides with some seemingly unexplainable accidents and murders at the home of young Andy (Alex Vincent)…
Why They Should Never Remake It: The franchise came back to surprisingly brilliant life with last year's Curse Of Chucky , meaning there's mileage in the doll yet.
If They Really Have To: With kids' toys getting more complex by the day, they could really play up the 'it's just a faulty microchip' angle while the killer doll does his dirty work.
We'd leave out the voodoo this ⛄time, though…
The Fly (1986)
The '80s Original: A sci-fi horror and pseudo-remake of the 1958 film (it's based on the same short story). Jeff Goldblum's a scientist who starts turning into a fly when his experiment goes horribly wrong.
Why They Should Never Remake It: This is what David Cronenberg does best - ain't nobody can out-Cronenberg Cronenberg…
If They Really Have To: Turn The Fly into an anti-hero🐭 and team him up with Ant-Man…
Labyrinth (1986)
The '80s Original: Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) attempts to make her way through the Goblin King's (David Bowie) labyrinth in order to rescue her baby brother.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Really, how do you improve on perfection? The songs. The puppets. Those costumes…
If They Really Have To: Get Bret McKenzie to write the new songs and sign James Bobin ( The Muppets ) as director. These guys have a good track record with puppets, after all, ✨and they'd do Ludo and Hoggle proud.
The Goonies (1985)
The '80s Original: A cult favourite among kids of the eighties, this defining adventure yarn follows the eponymous 'Goonies', a band of kids who get caught up with a jail-breaking mob family.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Josh Brolin, Sean Astin, Corey Feldman… It doesn't get much better than that.
If They Really Have To: The kids wind up in the network of tunnels beneath New York, which they discover are overrun with booby traps set by the Mob.
Naturally, they bump into flushed crocodiles, octopuses and somebody called Sloth…
Back To The Future (1985)
The '80s Original: Effortlessly cool time travel flick. Marty (Michael. J Fox) is transported back in time, where he has to fix up his young parents or face his own destruction.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's Back To The Future ! Apart from the fact that it hasn't aged a day in almost 30 years, it's so ingrained in our kiddie memories that the thought of a remake is genuinely upsetting.
If They Really Have To: A belated fou🍸rquel could see Marty's offspring travelling from 2015 to 1985, which would add a fun wrinkle to the existing films.
Dirty Dancing (1987)
The '80s Original: Baby (Jennifer Grey) meets enigmatic dance instructor Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze), who instructs her in more than just dance moves.
Why They Should Never Remake It: They already tried to do a TV show and it, well, wasn't good, was it? Clearly lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice…
If They Really Have To: Get Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone to star. After their 'lift' moment in Crazy Stupid Love , it's the only thing that makes sense.
Weird Science (1985)
The '80s Original: Nerds Gary Wallace (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt Donnelly (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) put their combined brainpower to the test, creating a woman using a Barbie doll and a home computer.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Geeks are, like, TOTALLY cool now, so the original's depiction of them as misunderstood outsiders just wouldn't work today.
If They Really Have To: Use a different story from the൩ original comics. It's the least th🤡ey can do.
D.A.R.Y.L (1985)
The '80s Original: A cyborg created by the government looks just like a little kid (Barret Oliver), who escapes his incarceration and attempts to fit in with a small town family.
Why They Should Never Remake It: We've already seen hundreds of other films like it - the concept was fresh back then. Not so much now in a post AI world.
If They Really Have To: Copy the AI mould, but leave out all that rubbish about the Blue Fairy.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
The '80s Original: John Hughes' classic teen comedy. Bueller (Matthew Broderick) pulls a sicky, dumping high school in favour of the Best Day Ever.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Hughes' film is perfect as it is, obviously - plus Emma Stone already did her Bueller ode in Easy A , meaning we've already gotten our modern-day Bueller.
If They Really Have To: At least change the gender of the hero. Farrah Bueller's Day Off would distance a remake from the masterful original.
The Hidden (1987)
The '80s Original: An early one for Kyle MacLachlan, who stars as a young FBI agent who goes up against a body-hopping alien parasite.
Why They Should Never Remake It: There's pretty much nothing wrong with the original, from the cast to the premise to the execution. Just re-release it, say we.
If They Really Have To: Body-hopp🌊ing alien horror hasn't had much presence on the big screen in a while, and we're imagining a moody crime thriller starring Viggo Mortensen that just so happens to involve a killer alien.
The Running Man (1987)
The '80s Original: Arnold Schwarzenegger battles through an apocalyptic futureworld, where he's forced to fight on a deadly reality TV show.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's not the best of Arnie's classic oeuvre, but it's still got some brilliant fights (and one-liners).
Also,
If They Really Have To: Arnie's criticised the way the movie was𒆙 shot, likening 𒀰it to a TV show, so why not turn it into a TV show proper?
The Monster Squad (1987)
The '80s Original: Ace genre-blender starring all your favourite Universal monsters (Dracula, The Mummy, Frankenstein's Monster), who lay siege to a sleepy town that just so happens to be home to the pint-sized Monster Squad.
Why They Should Never Remake It: With its script by Shane Black, Monster Squad' s still as sharp as it is silly.
If They Really Have To: The concept's just so cool that it's no surprise Michael Bay wants a remake. We say keep the central idea - kids vs Universal monsters - and set it in the seventies.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
The '80s Original: Schlocky slasher set around - yep, you guessed it - a slumber party, which turns into a massacre when a guy with a massive drill starts killing people.
Ah, we love a good phallic killer.
Why They Should Never Remake It: There's just something grubbily unapologetic about the film's gender politics that we can't help but love, no matter how insulted feminists might feel.
If They Really Have To: Taking the 'You're Next' approach would be ideal. The title's already cheesily magnificent, and a remake is crying out for a little tongue-in-cheek silliness.
Cujo (1983)
The '80s Original: Psycho dog flicked based on Stephen King's novel. Dee Wallace is the woman trapped in a car with her son while the slathering beast licks his chops and patiently waits.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's a pretty crummy film, all things considered, but there's no denying it's iconic.
If They Really Have To: Set it entirely in the car. Single-location films are all the rage these days, and locating the f♏ilm completely in a car wou🍷ld crank up the tension levels something chronic.
The Lost Boys (1987)
The '80s Original: Corey Haim and Jason Patric are brothers who up and leave Arizona and start a new life in California, where it just so happens that vampires (led by Kiefer Sutherland) rule the town.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It's STILL one of the coolest horror films ever made.
If They Really Have To: The sequels have watered down the awesomeness of the original, which means it probably is time to just make a reboot and have done.
The original's rock sensibilities wouldn't work nowadays, so… hipster vampires, an🤪yon♈e?
Children Of The Corn (1984)
The '80s Original: The countryside drive of Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton is abruptly and violently interrupted by a band of kids who worship 'He Who Walks Behind The Rows'.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Aside from the old 'it's a cult classic' argument, there's just something about the film's sunny visuals that still makes it creepy today.
If They Really Have To: They'd have to update the 'damsel in distress' schtick.
While Hamilton is happy to let Horton do all the hero work in the o🌜riginal, a remake would be crying out for a kick-ass heroine - which could lead to an interesting development of the woman vs child scenario.
Pumpkinhead (1988)
The '80s Original: Supernatural slasher directed by prosthetics maestro Stan Winston. Lance Henriksen stars as a father whose son is killed by a group of teens, prompting him to call forth the titular vengeance-dealing demon.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Actually, this is one that needs a remake - the monster's awesome, but the rest of Winston's film is flabby and (dare we say it) boring.
If They Really Have To: What if the person who summons the demon actually BECOMES the demon? Le𓄧t𒅌's turn Tom Hardy into Pumpkinhead and have done, eh?
Earth Girls Are Easy (1989)
The '80s Original: Three furry aliens (played by Jim Carrey, Jeff Goldblum and Damon Wayans) are feeling a little frisky, so they attempt to woo some Earth ladies.
Why They Should Never Remake It: The film was insulting enough in the eighties, let alone dragging it kicking and screaming into modern times.
If They Really Have To: Do a gender switch and call it Earth Guys Are Easy.
The Howling (1981)
The '80s Original: After getting attacked during an investigation, a reporter (Dee Wallace) is sent to a countryside retreat to recuperate, but there are things howling in the night there…
Why They Should Never Remake It: Everybody already knows the twist, and there's really no way to match Rob Bottin's outstanding transformation scenes
If They Really Have To: The recuperation camp would be a rehab centre and the reporter would be a celebrity with a few problems.
Perfect role for a Lindsay Lohan comeback, then.
Monkey Shines (1988)
The '80s Original: George A. Romero's bizarre adaptation of Michael Stewart's even MORE bizarre novel, in which prize athlete Alan Mann (Jason Beghe) becomes quadriplegic after a car accident and is sent a monkey who's been injected with human brain tissue as a helper.
Because that sort of thing ALWAYS ends well.
Why They Should Never Remake It: It all feels a bit dated after the likes of Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes. And Dawn's just around the corner.
If They Really Have To: In the wake of anim💫al rights movements, a remake could twist the concept with a man being injected with monkey brain cells - and growing increasingly volatile…
Night Of The Comet (1984)
The '80s Original: When a comet passes Earth, it wipes out almost the entire planet's population, leaving only Reggie (Catherine Mary Stewart), her sister Sam (Kelli Maroney) and a small band of survivors behind. Oh, plus a few zombies…
Why They Should Never Remake It: Actually, this one would be perfect for a remake…
If They Really Have To: …Though the concept's brilliant, the execution is somewhat lacking in this cult horror, meaning a remake has loads of room for improvement.
Gremlins (1984)
The '80s Original: Awesomely sinister Christmas movie about little mogwai Gizmo, who spawns evil gremlins if he gets wet and they eat after midnight…
Why They Should Never Remake It : If they remade it, the puppets would probably be replaced with CGI, which will never do.
If They Really Have To: Take the story to China, where we discover the origins of the🧜 mogwai.
RawHead Rex (1986)
The '80s Original: A Brit/Irish co-production that's based on a short story by Clive Barker (Hellraiser), in which a pagan god wreaks havoc in the Irish countryside.
Why They Should Never Remake It: True, it diverted from Barker's story, but there's still fun to be had with the gory remains.
If They Really Have To: Barker's story was altered on the big screen, turning it into a Hellraiser-aping gore-fest.
At the crux of the original tale, though, is a phallic monstrosity wreaking havoc in both a physical and metaphorical sense. We want a truer adap that goes B▨ꩵIG with Barker's ideas.
Critters (1986)
The '80s Original: An unashamed Gremlins rip-off, but still brilliant in its own right, as furry little alien flesh-munchers land on Earth and lay siege to an isolated farmhouse.
Why They Should Never Remake It: Actually, we'd love to see a Critters remake, if only because the sequels (particularly two and four) were so cruddy.
If They Really Have To: Cast Leonardo DiCaprio (he was in Critters 3 ) and do it shot fo🐽r shot, but swap the farm for an office block. It'd be an interesting experiment, no?
Re-Animator (1985)
The '80s Original: Based on a Lovecraft story and starring cult favourite Jeffrey Combs as a medical student obsessed with reanimating dead flesh.
Why They Should Never Remake It: The last time they tried to remake it, they were going to cast Elisha Cuthbert…
If They Really Have To: Considering the advances in technology since the eighties, it could actaully be possible to create a bloody horror that sort of adheres to genuine biology. Which would be fun.
Night Of The Creeps (1986)
The '80s Original: A brilliantly odd genre-bender that involves axe-murderers, college kids, aliens and zombies (ZOMBIE CAT!).
Why They Should Never Remake It: Unless they can rope in horror legend Tom Atkins again, we're just not interested.
If They Really Have To: Though James Gunn arguably did something similar with 2006's Slither , there's still plenty to play with in a potential re♓boot.
