Rosco McQueen

Seen having a stupid name in: Rosco McQueen, Firefighter Extreme.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a southern '70s sheriff who works by his own ruleꦑs but gets t🍸he job done.

Master Chief

Seen having a stupid name in: the Halo series.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: of all the real-world naval ranks available to them, Bungie chose the one most likely to sound like "Captain Boss" to those uninitiated in military🐽 designations.

Edge Maverick

Seen having a stupid name in: Star Ocean: The Last Hope.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name a 10 year-old would give themselves if handed a deed poll form shortly afte🍷r being handed a bottle of whiskey and a giant bag of Skittles.

Vincent Valentine

Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VII and its multitudino▨us spin-offs.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the name of a teenage goth's online alter-💮ego. Or alterna𓆏tely, that of a French porn star.

Look, I'm go𒁏ing to stop doing the porn star joke now, because a) it's not a joke, and b) it applies to nearly all of them. Can we just agree that it goes without saying from this point on? It'll save me a lot of time. Like, literally seconds.

Cloud Strife

Seen having a stupid name in: Final Fantasy VII and itꦦs multitudinous spin-offs.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: Square-Enix realised that "Cloud" sounded too much like the product of hippie parentin🐻g. Given that Cloud was to be their most emo hero to date, they thus stuck "Strife" on the end in order to add additional angst. He might as well be called Rainbow Misery.

Cream the Rabbit

Seen having a stupid name in: Far too many Sonic the Hedgehog games.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: an instruction to do somet🐬hing unpleasant to a rabbit.

Mace Griffin

Seen having a stupid name in: Mace Griffin, Bounty Hunter.

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the developers decided that sticking together the respective names of a medieval weapon and a mythical beast was a dead-cert route to badassery. And it should be. But in prꦏactice, it isn't.

BJ Blazkovicz

Seen having a stupid name in: the Wolfenstein series

Name is stupid because it sounds like: iD effectively tried to shoehorn the word "blast" into th♒e name of an action hero.

Shoot Gunner

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear

Name is stupid because it sounds like: the subtitle of any modern military FPS.

Decoy Octopus

Seen having a stupid name in: Metal Gear Solid

Name is stupid because it sounds like: a gadget used by James Bond during th♏e ultra-camp Roger Moore period.