Kremlins
The Original: Gremlins , Joe Dante's kiddie-scaওrer about malevol✨ent monsters on the rampage in a Capra-esque idyll.
One Letter Off Remake: Mogwai Gizmo and his handler Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) are recruited b♛y the CIA to infiltrate KGB headquarters, where Gizmo is to be watered and fed after midnight to unleash havoc.
But the p🎶lan backfires when the Gremlins decide to un𒉰leash Russia's nuclear warheads.
Sample Quote: "Get him wet. Feed him after mi🌠dnight. Don't worry about sunlight, theꦑy don't have that in Russia."
The Karate Kia
The Original: John G. Avildsen's beloved 80s cheesefest The Karate Kid , abo𒊎ut an underdog wimp (Ralph Macchio) taught the bully-beating crane stance by grouchy-but-wise Mr Miyagi (Pat Morita).
One Letter Off Remake: Mr Miyagi (here played by Ken Watanabe) is bored of training pasty Ame🌟rican kids and needs a new challenge.
When he meets a wheelchair-bound paraplegic, who is bullied for his disability, he teaches him to manipulate his 1.4L C'eed into becoming a martial 𓆏arts powerhouse.
Sample Quote: "Wax on, wax off... You missed a bit."
Jawa
The Original: Steven Spielberg's ultimate summer movie, as Chi🌄ef Brody's (Roy Scheider) day at the beach becomes a horrifying ordeal at the hands of a Great White Shark named Bruce.
One Letter Off Remake: On the watery planet of Oceania, it𒀰's nearly time for the annual R▨egatta.
As s🍎pecies🔜 from the across the galaxy prepare to race, a rogue Jawa is attacking boats from under the sea in order to strip the vehicles of parts he can resell.
I👍t's up to a Bothan, an Ewok and a Gamorrean to head out to sea in anꦦ attempt to stop him.
Sample Quote: "Im🍸perial warships slammed two torpedoes into🅷 our side, Chief."
The Green Mime
The Original: Frank Darabont's death row drama The Green Mile , in which guard Paul Edgecomb (Tom 🐠Hanks) befriends gentle prisoner John Coffey (Michael Clarke Duncan).
One Letter Off Remake: There's no need for prisoners to feel downhearted in this prison, not when mute guard Paul Edgecomb can cheer ever𝕴ybody up through the power of mime.
Trouble is, when he witnesses a crime in the c🐻ell block, he's unab🐬le to tell anybody...and the people who can help are crap at charades.
Sample Quote: There isn't one. He's a mime.
Dumble in the Bronx
The Original: Rumble in the Bronx , Stanley Tong's classic Jackie Chan flick, as our hero ar🍎rives in New York only to get involved in a street war.
One Letter Off Remake: Exiled from Hogwarts and banned from using magic, Albus Dumbedore (Michael Gambon) has tᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚo pass as a Muggle and settles as a shopkeeper in New York.
However, when st﷽reet gangs pitch up on his turf to terrorise the old looking fella in the robes and beards, Dumbledore has to learn some new moves to protect himself.
Sample Quote: "Every🧸 day, every hour, t♎his very minute, perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this convenience store's walls."
Ping Pong
The Original: Peter Jackson's epic homage to the 1933 classic King Kong , about a monstroꦅus ape kidnapped from Skull Island and brought to Manhattan to perform.
One Letter Off Remake: Anthropologistꦓ Dian Fossey (Sigourney Weaver) discovers a giant ape that can plaဣy a mean game of table tennis.
But an evil sports promoter (played by Paul Giamatti) sees dollar signs. He kidnaps the monkey and forces it into increasingly dangerous bat-wielding stunts at𓆏op the Empire State Building.
Sample Quote: "It was break point that killed the beast."
Allen
The Original: Alien , Ridley Scott's haunted house movie...in space!
One Letter Off Remake: When the Nostromo picks up strange messages, the crew✤ make planetfall and find a room full of inaminate Jewish comedians (all played by Woody Allen, obviously).
Against orders, android Ash (Eli🦄jah Wood smuggles one on board so he can learn about humour, but it breaks loose and st♈arts telling jokes.
🐻One by one, the crew dies laughing; it's left to the on-board computer, Mother, to give Al🔥len a stern talking-to.
Sample Quote: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organism. The structural p🌟erfection of its gags is matched only by its timing."
Citizen Bane
The Original: Orson Welles' "best film ever" Citizen Kane , about the life of a powerfꦡu♌l but lonely media mogul.
One Letter Off Remake: Batman nemesis Bane is tired of people mistaking his fearsome physique for a brainless brute, so buys a newspaper to disseminate anti-꧅Bat propaganda across Gotham City.
Yet f𒁃lashbacks with colleagues like The Scarecrow and Ra'🍸s Al Ghul reveal a tyrant crippled by childhood loss.
Sample Quote: "I run a couple o𒉰f newspapers and fight a man dressed as a bat. What dܫo you do?"
Look Who's Tarkin
The Original: Amy Hecklering's weird toddler-com Look Who's Talk❀in', as Kirstie Alley and John Travolta discover that little nipper Mikey has the voice of Br꧒uce Willis.
One Letter Off Remake: When young Tatooin🀅e couple Owen and Beru Lars discover they can't have kids, they decide to a♏dopt.
But in a mix-up at Mos Eisley spaceport, the person delivꦫered to them is Im🌠perial Governor, the Grand Moff Tarkin.
Tarkin becomes a reluctant and irritable houseguest, until he realises that he's grown comfortable wearing Ow🌌en's slippers.
Sample Quote: "Help! Help! Somebody burp me before I blow up 🤡thi✱s planet!"
Moemento
The Original: Memento , Christopher Nolan's backwards brain-scrambler about an amnesiac (Guy Pearce) putting together the jigsaw pieces🧜 of his life.
One Letter Off Remake: Moe Syzlak (voiced by🎉 Hank Azaria) wak♌es up to find that best friend Homer Simpson hates him, his bar has burnt down and his hair shaved off.
He crosses❀ Springfield, picking♍ up clues to discover the night of shame that brought about his downfall.
Sample Quote: "What's the last thing you remember?" "Ordering my 💝fifth Jagerbomb...ah, that explains it."
Hen in Black
The Original: Barry Sonnenfeld's sci-fi comedy Men in Black , about agents J and K (Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones), the Earth's last defence againꦐst alien infiltration.
One Letter Off Remake: The foxes are gett꧋ing more cunning, and Barry's Farm is under s🍌iege.
Newly hatched chick Agent E (💃Drew Barrymore) joins henhouse police HIB under the tutelage of Agent GG (Whoopi Goldberg) to stop a bushy-tailed slaughter.
Sample Quote: "This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-chicken𒁏shit-o-meter."
No Country For Old Hen
The Original: No Country For Old Men , the Coen Brothers' fa🥂talistic-but-♔Oscar winning thriller about the bloody hunt for a bag full of cash.
One Letter Off Remake: The sequel to Hen in Black , in which a now-elderly Agent GG i🧔s brought out of retirement when a rogue cockerel steals all of♊ the eggs.
Yet she hasn't counted on the arrival of the sadistic Colonel Saওnders, intent🌜 on cooking the runaway bird in his 'Family Bucket.'
Sample Quote: "What's the most you ever lost on an egg toss?"
Hobocop
The Original: Robocop , Paul Verhoeven's ultra-violent piss-take of Reaganite 🌸America as la🌳w and order is privatised and robotised.
One Letter Off Remake: B🌌asically the same premise, but instead of an injured cop the powers-ܫthat-be decide to save money by dragging the first vagrant they find in off the street.
Hilarity ensues when Hoboꦕcop's (Jack Nicholson) programming falters and old habits kick in - instead of protecting local🎉 liquor stores, he's the one guzzling all the wares.
Sample Quote: "Serve the public trust. Protec꧂t the innocent. Er,𝓰 what was #3 again?"
Slade
The Original: Stephen Norrington's cult adaptation of comic-book Blade , about the eponymous vampire-turned-vampire killer (Wes🎀ley Sni𝓰pes).
One Letter Off Remake: The West Midlands is overrun by folk♕ musicians and Ozzy th෴e heavy metal king has been deposed.
There is only one man craz꧙ee enough to skweeze the folkies - Noddy Holder (played by M🐭ichael Sheen) and his Slade army.
Sample Quote: "You better wake up. The world you live in is just a sugar-coated topping. There is another world beneath it - the real🌊 world. And if y🎃ou want to survive it, you better cum on and feel the noize!"
The Wookie
The Original: The Rookie , Clint Eastw🅠ood's mismatched buddy thriller in which Clint's grizzled veteran has to teach the ropes to newbie Charlie Sheen.
One Letter Off Remake: When an alien space🐻ship, buried in the Arctic "a long, long time ago," is defrost😼ed, authorities are incapable of dealing with its Wookie pilot Chewbacca.
It's left to maverick cop Clint to housetrain the wild animal, but he soon realises that a howling mad partner is just the thing to🃏 keep crime off the streets.
Sample Quote: "It's impossible to make a real dent. But it is possible to hurt individual assholes wꦫho fuck it u𝓡p for everyone, because I've got a Wookie."
Gone With the Wine
The Original: Victor Fleming's Civil War romance Gone With The Wind , the tale of the stormy relationship between Rhett Butler (Cl♚ark Gable) and Scarlett Oꦏ'Hara (Vivien Leigh).
One Letter Off Remake: Depressed by the endless slaughter between Yankees and Confederate, Rhett Butler drinks away his sorrows, and has a reputation as the life and soul of every part🐲y.
But can he win over temperance activist Scarlett O'Hara, a woman who wouldn't touch this drunken bum with a bargepole? He﷽ can if he can getꦰ her pissed.
Sample Quote: "Frankly, my dear, I don't gi🍸ve a damn. Pass the merlot."
Fudge Dredd
The Original: Danny Cannon's much-maligned adaptation of Judge Dredd , starring an unmasked Sylvester Stallone as the eponymous judge, jury and executꩵioner.
One Letter Off Remake: Feeling that there's nothing left to blow up after The Expendables , Stallone decides to direct himself in a kid-friendly hymn to to🌟lerance and rꦚehabilitation.
The new Dredd is nothing to fear. Instead of blas💞ting criminals to du✨st, he offers them an extensive range of confectionery if they apologise to their victims and promise not to do it again.
Sample Quote: "I am the law! Put down your weapons and prepare for F♛udge...or an Aero. Either's good."
Ron Air
The Original: Simon West's preposterous 1990s actioner Con Air , in which innocent con Cameron💃 Poe (Nic Cage) is released only to find he's sharing a ride home with the baddest of the bad.
One Letter Off Remake: A ꦍmisunderstanding sees wizarding student Ron Weasley (Rupert Grint) locked up in Azk♑aban.
On his release, he's troubled to learn that the cash-starved Ministry of Magic are sending him home on a Muggle flight along with several Death Eaters beinꩵg taken to London.
When the dark wizards take control, it's 🀅up♔ to Weasley to save the day.
Sample Quote: "Put the Boggart back in the box!"
Apocalypse Cow
The Original: Apocalypse Now , Francis Ford Coppola's Vietnam trip about Captain Willard (Martin Sheen goin🌸g down river to assassinate rogue Colonel Kurtz (Marlon Br♐ando).
One Letter Off Remake: Remember the cow that ge🐻ts symbolically slaughtered at the end of the original? Well, this is the backstory of that scene.
Not only do we learn that it was the bovine bully, not Brando, who was really in charge. Turns out there was also a parrot on board the boat who's been instructed to telꦦl the natives to hack the beast to bits.
Sample Quote: "The clover! The clover!"
Rex and the City
The Original: Michael Patrick King's film version of the hit TV show Sex and the City , about four women buy🥀ing shoes and having sex ཧin New York.
One Letter Off Remake: What with all the sex and shopping, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and chums didn't read about the disastrous scient🌳ific experiment that has unleashed a real-life T-Rex into Manhatta﷽n.
As soc⛦iety collapses and New Yor♔kers throw end-of-civilisation orgies, the oblivious gals just think they've got lucky. On the downside, the Jimmy Choo sale has been cancelled. Bummer.
Sample Quote: "After years of living in the city I assumed 💧that if my friends aಞnd I ever got our fairytale endings, that would be the end of the story. But then the dinosaur arrived."
Forrest Pump
The Original: Robert Zemeckis' fable about clueless yokel Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks), who inexplicably finds himselfღ involved in every major event in post-war American history.
One Letter Off Remake: After Henry Ford invents the motorcar, folk need petrol, and that's when they come to Forres🎀t.
From his car-side vantage point, the ina🍸nimate petrol-giving device inspires Presidents, sporting heroes and movie stars...
...although per𝓀haps he should have said no to filling up Jimmy Dean's car.
Sample Quote: "ꦚLife is like an unmarked tanker. ಌYou never know if it'll contain regular or diesel."
Cool Han Luke
The Original: Stuart Rosenberg's counter-culture prison camp drama Cool Hand Luke , iꦡn which the eponymous rebel (Paul New𝔍man) refuses to conform to the Governor's brutal regime.
One Letter Off Remake: Locke𒊎d up together by the Empire, Han ♍and Luke become firm friends, until Han realises that Luke is using Jedi mind tricks to convince their fellow prisoners that he's the cool one.
The two engage in increasingly dangerous stunts - Wookie baiting; eating raw Wamp✃a eggs - in order🐼 to win the popularity contest.
Sample Quote: "What we’ve got here is failure tꦯo communicate. Some Wookies you just can't reac🎉h."
Dobby Does Dallas
The Original: Jim Clark's (ahem) seminal porno Debbie Does Dallas , i🌃n which Debbie (Bambi Woods) and her fell𓂃ow cheerleaders earn money for an audition by...well, guess.
One Letter Off Remake: The s⛎ickest kids' film ever made, as houꦡse elf Dobby (voiced by Toby Jones) gets frisky with centaurs, goblins and other magical creatures.
Sample Quote: "Dobby is used to prostitutes, sir. Dobby gets them fiv🧜e times a day at home."
