Se7en (1995)
The Box: Delivered to a deserted area on the outskirts of the city, Detectives Mills and Somerset have a very nasty surprise in store with this box. It's a present from serial killer John Doe, see. Dinner won’t be on the table tonight...
What We’d Keep In It: A hat. It’s the nearest thing to what is actually in the box that doesn’t involve something very sharp and a shower in the red stuff.
Wall-E (2008)
The Box: The most adorable box you’ve ever laid eyes on. A trash compactor left on planet Earth to clean up all the mess left behind by humans, Wall-E is the last sentient being on the planet. He loves Hello Dolly , which means we love him.
What We’d Keep In It: All our beloved VHS movies that we can’t bring ourselves to throw away. We know Wall-E would look after them.
Hellraiser (1987)
The Box: A Lament Configuration puzzle. It has a habit of falling into the hands of rather horrible people, and if solved brings forth the Cenobites – a conclave of demons headed up by the terrifying Pinhead.
What We’d Keep In It: We’d project all our evil thoughts into it and leave them there.
Let The Right One In (2008)
The Box: Ah, you know we’re in the ‘80s if we’re dealing with Rubik’s cubes. This one belongs to bullied 12-year-old Oskar, who’s struggling with it a bit. Until cool vampire Eli comes along and solves it for him.
What We’d Keep In It: Hmm, you can't actually keep anything in this one. Though Eli might try to carve a little hole for an emergency blood supply.
Boxing Helena (1993)
The Box: A physical and an emotional box, as lonely surgeon psycho Nick kidnaps the girl next door after she’s been in a car accident. Nice fella that he is, he amputates her legs... and her arms. Then boxes her in. Literally.
What We’d Keep In It: All the prosthetic limbs left lying around the house. Damn things.
The Cube (1997)
The Box: A giant, Kafkaesque nightmare composed of lots of smaller boxes, in which a group of people have been trapped. If they don’t figure out a way to get from room to room in time, they get sliced and diced.
What We’d Keep In It: Our worst enemies. Muwahaha.
Kill Bill: Vol 2 (2005)
The Box: In short, a coffin. The Bride gets what’s coming to her when her roaring rampage of revenge raises the hackles of fellow assassin Budd – who buries her alive. Lucky for her, The Bride’s learnt how to get out thanks to master Pai Mei.
What We’d Keep In It: Bill. He’s just died, having been killed using the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. A poetic final resting place.
Saw V (2008)
The Box: So good that I’m A Celebrity nicked it for their own evil means. Agent Peter Strahm wakes up to find his head’s snared inside a glass box – and it’s quickly filling up with water…
What We’d Keep In It: Back-up water supplies, in case the pipes freeze again.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark (1981)
The Box: Oh, you know, just a little thing called the Ark of the Covenant. It’s a biblical chest that was built by the Israelites long ago to house the fragments of the Ten Commandments – and can make men invincible.
What We’d Keep In It: Our precious valuables. Nobody’s going to be making off with that thing in a hurry.
Jurassic Park (1993)
The Box: A transport cargo box that’s holding a Velociraptor. At the beginning of the film, a routine transfer of the resurrected creature goes horribly wrong when a worker is dragged into the box and ripped into ribbons.
What We’d Keep In It: Our ultra cool fossil collection, of which we have many. Because we’re awesome like that.
The Box (2007)
The Box: A simple-looking cube with a button inside. It’s delivered to Norma and Arthur Lewis in 1976 by a mysterious stranger who tells them that if they push the button, they’ll receive $1m - but somebody they don’t know will die.
What We’d Keep In It: A scorpion, so we’re never tempted to open it and bush the button.
Toy Story 3 (2010)
The Box: There's nothing greater than giving a gift. And a grown-up Andy bequeaths adorable little Bonnie the best gift of all - a childhood with Woody, Buzz, Mr and Mrs Potato Head, Rex, Hamm, Jessie, Bulleseye and Slinky Dog. Delivering them right to her doorstep, it's an emotional farewell for Andy, and a moving acknowledgement of selfless love.
What We’d Keep In It: The toys that we still like to take out and play with every once in a while. Just don’t tell anybody.
Toy Story 3 (2010)
The Box: There's nothing greater than giving a gift. And a grown-up Andy bequeaths adorable little Bonnie the best gift of all - a childhood with Woody, Buzz, Mr and Mrs Potato Head, Rex, Hamm, Jessie, Bulleseye and Slinky Dog. Delivering them right to her doorstep, it's an emotional farewell for Andy, and a moving acknowledgement of selfless love.
What We’d Keep In It: The toys that we still like to take out and play with every once in a while. Just don’t tell anybody.
Transformers (2007)
The Box: The AllSpark, a powerful cube created by the Decepticons that is the source of life for all Transformers. Inscribed with various glyphs, it is able to imbue any mechanical thing with sentient life.
What We’d Keep In It: Our designs for how to take over the world.
Labyrinth (1986)
The Box: A lovely little music box owned by Sarah Williams. A fanciful dreamer, Sarah eventually ends up wearing the very same dress as the princess on her music box, and dancing with David Bowie to the same tune it emits. Spooky.
What We’d Keep In It: Secret notes about the boys we fancy.
Buried (2010)
The Box: Another coffin, this one conspicuous from the last thanks to the presence of Ryan Reynolds. He’s a US truck driver, buried alive and with mere hours to get himself free – if he just cooperates with what his captors tell him to do.
What We’d Keep In It: Sand. Lots and lots of sand. And maybe a snake or two.
Batman Returns (1992)
The Box: A big, giant red thing with a green bow. It’s pedalled into Gotham City, then explodes to release a horde of Penguin’s evil henchmen, who set about creating chaos.
What We’d Keep In It: The space telescope we’re hoping to get for Christmas.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
The Box: A box of roses, because the T-800 is a secret romantic on his way to a date with a sleek young fembot. Or… no, he’s got a big flipping rifle in there with the flowers. Crafty fella.
What We’d Keep In It: Think we'd do the same - not a bad idea, that.
Gremlins (1984)
The Box: An ornate wooden thing that has something called a Mogwai inside. Said Mogwai is the cutest, most marketable little thing ever to come out of Hollywood – going by the name Gizmo, he’s a humming little ball of adorableness. Except for when he gets wet and/or eats after midnight.
What We’d Keep In It: Incense. And candles. And stuff. Definitely not a Mogwai. Far too much responsibility.
