The Crazies
Psych Ward: The Crazies (2010)
Symptoms Of Insanity: 🔴 A creepy stillness that erupts into random acts of homicide; faces that look like they've been Photoshopped by the Devil
If They Were On Your Bus: You'd have no escape. Sorry about that.
Still, if you regularly commute at rush hour in central London, you𒊎 probably woul📖dn't notice the difference.
Patrick Bateman
Psych ward: American Psycho (2000)
Symptoms of insanity: Business card envy; liking Phil Collin𝔉s; being as fastidious about butchering his victims as he is ab🌳out his honed 'n' toned looks
If He Was On Your Bus: Face it, Bateman would🥃n’t be seen dead on a bus… unless he was on the prowl for a victim.
Your only defence: put Huey Lewis and the News onto your ipod and turn it up loud enough for him to hear Hip To Be Square .
Martin Riggs
Psych Ward: Lethal Weapon (1987)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Suicidal grief; psychotic rage; dislocating his shoul♔der as🍨 a party trick.
Oh, and a mullet - classic sign of madness, that.
If He Was On Your Bus: Hasn't the poor guy got enough to worry ab💮out without maki😼ng him take public transport?
Hꦅe'd probably try to take the wheel and crash the fucker. For a laugh.
Frank Booth
Psych Ward: Blue Velvet (1986)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Addicted to gas; enꦍtourage of sallow-faced drag-acts; sadomasochism (clue: he’s the sado-).
If He Was On Your Bus: You'd clock him straight away, sucking on gas through🐭 a medical mask.
But you wouldn't get really worried until h♑e started yelling out, "Baby wants to fu♎ck" and attacking other passengers.
Amelie Poulain
Psych Ward: Amelie (2001)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Housebreaking to rearrange people🙈's belongings; sending a garden gnome on a round-the-world trip; encouraging colleagues to shag in the workplace
If She Was On Your Bus: She looks sweet ♍enough, but that dopily benign smile hides a devio𝄹us streak.
You’d end up engaged to a random 🥀stranger across the aisle, or agreeing to give Amelie all of your cash so she could buy Whiskas for💃 stray cats.
Mr Blonde
Psych Ward: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Symptoms Of insanity: Going on a kill-crazy rampage on the slightest provocation; havin൲g a conversa🙈tion with an ear he's just sliced off a cop.
If He Was On Your Bus: For starters, he'd ask the driver to put 🍨on K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 70s.
Pray the driver likes his retro classics, otherwise Blondie's liable to get trigger happy. Bam-Bam-Bam🐲-Bam.
The Joker
Psych Ward: The Dark Knight (2008)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Deliberately crap make-up job to hide facial wounds; sociopathic anarchist tendencies🅺; lethal sense of humour.
If He Was On Your Bus: A few well-chosen comments, and he'🐲d have the two aisles at each other's throats.
Get off the bus when he does. He's probably primed a bomb to go off if the passengers don't go all Lord of The Flies on each other.
Norman Bates
Psych Ward: Psycho (1960)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Hatred of blondes taking showers; dressing up as his dead mother; dressing up the skeleton of his dead mother.
If He Was On Your Bus: Depends who sits next to you. If it's Norman,🌄 the worst you'll get is awkward small talk abo♚ut cages and stuffed birds.
If you get his mother , on the other hanꦓd, we recommend frisking 'her' for concealed wea⛦pons.
Chip Douglas
Psych Ward: The Cable Guy (1996)
Symptoms Of Insanity: St﷽alking; blackmail; fondness for medi𝔉eval jousting.
Worst of all, 🌌he has the cruellest torture known to man - the power 🔴to cancel cable.
If He Was On Your Bus: He&rꦗsquo;ll sit next to you, strike up a conversation, offer you candy.
Whatever you do, do♕n’t accept – or you’ll never get rid of him.
Travis Bickle
Psych Ward: Taxi Driver (1976)
Symptoms Of Insanity: Inappropriate dating venues;𝔉 desire to wash the scum off the streets; unaware his haircut looks ridiculous🔯.
If He Was On Your Bus: He's a taxi driver. If he's taking the bus, chances are he's gett♑ing org♊anezized to do something mental.
Best to keep quiet. If he thinks you're ꦫtalking to him, he won't shut up about it until he's ready to 💃kill.
