Eat Slugs

The Spell: 💃When Malfoy calls Hermione a "filthy little mudblood", Ron sees red.

He 🐭goes to attack Malfoy, but his spell backfires, and he spends the rest of the afternoon vomiting slugs.

The Ingredients: A broken wand, the incantation ("Eat𝓡 Slugs!"), and a whole load of rage.

How We'd Use It: Wreak h🌺avoc by staging a guerrilla operation at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show.

Popularity Contest

The Spell: In witch world, it is forbidden to force another p♑erson to fall in love with you. Says so in the Witches' Etiquette Guide.

Goofy Louis♏e bends the rules a bit, using spell skillz to make herself the most popular girl in school, and thereby winning the love of hunky Brad. Sneaky.

The Ingredients: Apparently i𓆏t's important that you𓆉're the reincarnation of a dead witch. That's us out then.

How We'd Use It: We'd probably give it to G𝓀ordon Brown, bless him. Turns out Tony used up all the Labour reserves in his first year.

Llama Face

The Spell: When evil Yzma plots to assassinate Emperor Kuzco, she gives him the wrong potion, and he ends up turning into a llama.

The Ingredients: You'll need essence of llama, a secret lab, and an oafish assistant.🍌 Oh, and you'll need to be scary beyon♏d all reason.

How We'd Use It: We'd go to Longleat and turn a🍸ll the lions into llamas, then s💯et them loose in the Wiltshire countryside.

Then we'd sit back and watch their confused little llama faces as they blunder around frantically hoofing everyone, wondering where the hell their cl🌱aws have gone.

Eternal Youth

The Spell: When the handsome and youthful Dorian Gray has his portrait painted, he pledges to remain ღas he appears in the picture, in exchan💎ge for his soul.

Unfortunately for Dor༺ian, the painting morphs over time to🅷 reveal his true self.

It ain't pretty.

The Ingredients: Bit of paper, some water☂colours, and lo𓃲ts and lots of vanity.

How We'd Use It: Well, we'd probably just stick the damned painting on Ebay. You don't need that Unique Insight Into Inner Ugliness in your life.

The Philter

The Spell: Biochemists Paul and Diane chance across an elixir which makes you utterly irresistable to the opposite sex as soon as you start talking.

Oddly enough, it a✃lso makes people of the same sex very hostile towards you.

So, if you're gay, umm, it's not going to work.

The Ingredients: It's not very clea🍷r, as it's acquired under mysterious circumstances. Whatever's in Lynx, probably.

How We'd Use It: Liberally .

Deep Freeze

The Spell: When Willow finds the castle of Tir Asleen, he discovers it's been put under a spell by the evil Bav𒁏morda.

Result: everybody within the castle has been frozen in ice.

The Ingredients: Presumably, you'll need a fair amount of Evil. And maybe some ice poles, just to 🍷get ⭕the ball rolling.

How We'd Use It: You could probablℱy do a lot ဣof good with this trick.

We'd round up all the pigeons of the world and herd them off to Antarc⭕tica. Then we'd use them to plug up all the melty bits.

The Resurrection

The Spell: When Sally (Sandra Bullock) accidentally puts a shade too much belladonna in Jimmy's tequila, he falls do🅷wn dead.

Panicking, she and ꩲher sister Gillian (Nicole Kidman) try to resurrect his lifeless body, using a forbidden spell.

The Ingredients: Squirty cream, apparently.

How We'd Use It: Not sure that we would. Imagine bringing back someone who's been dead longer than a day. We're not doctors but they'd probably be all swollen and liquidy. With bits coming off.

Dance Of Death

The Spell: Witches Winifred, Sarah and Mary need to get the parents out of the way so that they can suck the lifeforces out of children wi👍thout interruption.

So, they end up at the dance hall, where a Hal♕lowe'en ball is 🦋in full swing.

Winifred sings 'I Put A Spell On𒁃 You' which, appropriately📖, lays a charm on the adults that forces them to keep dancing until they drop down dead.

The Ingredients: Bette Midler, a Nina Simone song (a Sonique cover version will do), dry ice.

How We'd Use It: On cats.

The Old Hag

The Spell: Poor Sophie is the vic🎃tim of a spell cast by the Witch Of💧 The Waste.

Jealous of the attention Sophie receives from the wizard Howl, the witch turns Sophie into a haggard old bint.

The Ingredients: If the Witch of the Waste is anything to go by, it looks like all you need is about a million chins. No wonder she's jealous of Sophie.

How We'd Use It: To get free bus rides. Old people can go anywhere for free, you know. Anywhere . We'd go for Thorpe Park.

The Magic Balls

The Spell: Jareth, the Goblin King, is very good at magic. He's so good that he can produce little glass balls out of thin air. And then roll them around a bit. Now that's good magicking.

The Ingredients: We weren't joking when we ꩵsaid thin air. That's the sole ingredient.

You probably will need a mullet and a massive pouch, though.

How Wed Use It: Ooh, the mischief you could cause with those little glass balls. We'd spend hours in the park, tripping up skateboarders.